Toomer’s Rumors and Boomers – 2.26.08

*** Highlights from the basketball win over Bama – my favorites being Quan Prowell’s tomahawk jam, Frank Tolbert’s Jedi pass to Rasheem Barrett after getting the ball stripped from him, and Lucas Hargrove’s suck-it bucket from 35 ft. out.

*** No Guarantee: Just prior to learning of an even more recent arrest of one of his football players, Alabama coach Nick Saban, in an interview with Kevin Scarbinsky, said that Tide player Jeremy Elder, accused of robbing two fellow Alabama students at gun-point, would be banned from any and all football related activity at the Capstone… for at least one year. Scarbinsky appears to be impressed with Saban’s pre-trial sentencing of Elder and seems to shape the piece so as to herald, 8 arrests after his arrival, Saban’s new zero-tolerance policy for criminality:

“No meetings, practices or games. No football-related activities at all. And no guarantee he’ll ever suit up for Alabama again.”

Only thing is, it seems unlikely any edict from Saban would have anything to with it.

This is not some victim-less DUI charge — Elder has been charged with, and reportedly confessed to committing, a Class A Felony, which, when committed with a firearm, carries a punishment in the state of Alabama of “not less than 20 years.”

If Saban is open to the possibility of Elder’s innocence, even in light of his confession — and judging from later quotes in Scarbinsky’s piece, I doubt that — but is preemptively giving him the “at least a year” treatment to look tough for the media, well, that’s kinda screwed up. Is he unaware of the magnitude of Elder’s situation? For 26 bucks, the kid will likely be locked up for several, several years and therefore quite unable to play college football next year, the year after that, and the year after that.

Or is it that Saban is counting on a far lesser punishment for Elder, who is only 19, if his attorney wins him youthful offender status? If so, does that mean that, by the sole virtue of a technicality in the legal language, someone like Elder, after all this, could still have a place on Nick Saban’s football team?

Am I missing something, or is Saban?

We shall hopefully find out at this afternoon – the Nicktator has called a press-conference.

*** More vigorous urging to vote for a certain someone from testosterone-rich TWER reader Michael Ingram (thanks Michael):

Gentlemen,

As any living-breathing digitally-aware testosterone-rich man-child knows, EA Sports owns the wildly successful “Madden NFL” game franchise. This game is played on just about every platform – from PS to XP. But for those of us southern-bred, hard-core college football fans who hold at least a moderate pustule of venom in our heart of hearts for professional football, we secretly prefer the “NCAA” version of this popular franchise which features college teams.

EA Sports moved carefully into the new platform arena of Nintendo Wii with only Madden NFL. The Wii features a dynamic motion-sensitive controller that favors user-action over frenetic button-mashing. The Wii console is made famous by the legendary reports of over-excited folks flinging their “Wii-motes” through their television screens during game play. Madden for Wii is played through motions which simulate passing, tackling, and spinning.

Alas, for the hard-core college fan, there is no NCAA-version featuring the opportunity to sack Tebow, or replay the 2007 AU-GA Black Death.

But hold on, sports fans! EA Sports has just announced plans to release the NCAA franchise on Wii. But the really exciting news is that they are looking for a mascot – one mascot - to feature on the cover of every single game. So, while the long-lasting NCAA franchise (reaching back to the late 90′s) has never featured an Auburn icon, now there is a chance to promote Auburn’s best-known: AUBIE.

Follow this link, and vote daily for AUBIE:

http://www.easports.com/ncaa09/

War Damn Eagle!!

Toomer’s Rumors and Boomers – 2.25.08

Dean James Foy, 90, sings the Auburn Fight Song during yesterday’s presentation of the ODK Trophy which bears his name, the man can wail. Photo by Frank Couch.

*** Kind of an awesome Auburn weekend: Auburn’s swimming and diving teams, both the men’s and women’s, extend their exclusive patent on water with two more SEC titles… Auburn’s baseball team opens its season with three wins over East Tennessee State… we beat Bama soundly in basketball as Dean Foy, in the way only he can, exults in the unprecedented glow of six football wins in a row and Coach Tuberville lays down lines like: “Regardless of what you’ve read or heard, we will have a football team next year. We’ve won six and we’re working on seven. War Eagle!”…

Photo by Frank Couch

… we get what seems to be a very solid commitment from what seems to be a very solid player in defensive end Terrance Coleman, nephew of the great Antonio… and then we get to see that yes, Auburn will have a football team next year, a fast, exciting team.

*** Along those lines, I was there, there for the practice, most of it (couldn’t afford the basketball game, ahem). It was a sweet flash of huddle-less hyperactivity; those boys will be nothing if not in shape for it was quite literally non-stop. Some observations… Tony Franklin, if that was even him, looks far different from the photos we’ve seen, but that’s what you want in an offensive genius: shape shifting… Mario Fannin can break chains with a flex… Paul Rhoads will be popular amongst his players… Kodi, as we all know, can chunk the ball.

Excitement quietly ruled the afternoon. The sun set. The smell of cut grass lingers. Click here for my incredible photo odyssey…

*** 8th Bama player arrested in 14 month Saban-era: Joining the ranks or recent Tide team leaders Juwan Simpson, and Simeon Castille, Alabama safety, Rashad Johnson, a team captain, was arrested over the weekend for allegedly assaulting a security guard for a Tuscaloosa bar, the second player arrest in a week. Is this even news any more? I’ve often wondered how life changes for the everyday Tuscaloosans dealt into these fiascoes; almost certainly Bama fans themselves, do the once-anonymous cops, the bruised bar bouncers, the robbed at gun-point classmates, struggle with their fanhood, their fanliness, after the fact, knowing that fate forced them to help heap even more ignominy on the University of Alabama’s football program?

Toomer’s Rumors and Boomers – 2.19.08

*** It’s official: the Auburn Nation has a new national anthem, “Let the Eagle Fly,” a powerfully mellow rhapsodic blast of countrified rah-rah that sounds like Magnetic Fields covering a Toby Keith song. And it works! Let the Eagle freakin’ fly! Here’s what the authors, Rev. Bubba D. Liverance and the Cornhole Prophets had to say about it:

“We’re a rock band from Auburn and have written a song inspired by the Eagle’s release at the pre-game programs. It’s called “Let The Eagle Fly” and we’re offering to give all the proceeds from the sale and download of the song, to the University, if they play it just prior to the eagle’s flight at this year’s home games. You can check it out at www.revbubbaband.com, click on the Auburn Tigers Only page and listen. Let us know what you think. War Eagle, Bubba D.”

Spread the word and let my peoples dance!

*** I thought UAB’s whole shtick was to distance themselves from the Crimson Root — from the projectiles and antics, to the actual denial of the loss (the tagline of the video everyone is watching on YouTube is “UAB Upsets Memphis, Court Rush Video”), Saturday’s post-game debacle should be too close for comfort for most Blazer fans. Wish they would’ve won, of course… *** UPDATE: Thanks to JD Hogan for pointing out that I’m an idiot – that video is from 2006. I thought that was just too dang delusional to be true for anyone but Bama fans.

*** The Auburn baseball team, who starts action this Friday at home against East Tennessee State, shaved their heads as a show of support for Barbara Sanders, mother of Tiger infielder Joseph Sanders; Barbara recently started chemotherapy to combat breast cancer. I think this will be a good season.

Photo by Todd Van Emst

In basketball, the men take on Tennessee tomorrow night. Expect a miracle.

Also, I’m drooling again.

Toomer’s Rumors and Boomers – 2.11.08

*** Top 10 Reasons It’s Awesome at Auburn Basketball games:

10) Easy spotting of Auburn luminaries.

9) You can walk on the court after the game as long as you look official / really tall.

8 ) You can pretty much sit wherever you want.

7) Aubie lets loose in ways he can’t at football games, e.g. sliding ten feet on the floor to bowl through the Tiger Paws, whom he harasses all night.

6) Kid friendly, free stuff everywhere.

5) Trough-style urinals still in full-effect.

4) Great timeout and halftime entertainment – Saturday night it was a world-renowned hypnotist and I think he really did something to those kids, cause, oh, man, the girl in the orange shirt (Indian perhaps?) who was told she was a Pussycat Doll, man, I am so in love. Anyone YouTube that? Photos?

3) 17 players… 172 fingers.

2) Frank Tolbert’s indignant “come-on-ref!” hand-jives when he’s really pumped up…

1) Up by 20 or down by 20, Auburn Spirit and the fight, the passion of youth floods the court every dang game, and that more than anything makes it worth whatever the market-driven ticket pricers, who’s judgments seem based purely on anticipated demand, ask. (I was given free tickets, right at the door, to the first two games I went to; there was a sign saying “$10 bucks” at the Presbyterian game, but the old man only asked for $5, the girl next to him look puzzled; Kentucky was $20, Miss. State $15, an adventure every time!)

War Damn Eagle.

*** In his latest column, commemorating Alabama’s 1,001st National Championship, Paul Finebaum is in classic form, returning as he does to what he knows best: Sabanphilia, fetishistic insistence that Tommy Tuberville’s doesn’t care about Auburn, and sadistic, repeated analysis of Tuberville’s annual hunting trip to Arkansas, which Paul now not only credits with costing Tuberville his credibility with Auburn fans (because he should have been back home fighting the rumor Finebaum himself started about his undeniable, completely right and natural interest in the Arkansas job) but with costing Auburn recruiting glories a la Bama.

I knew it wasn’t the spread, Enrique, but you could have just told us — it was the hunting trip.

*** The 1984 Florida State game. Watch the video, it’s totally worth the 9 minutes. This “wild and woolly shootout in Doak Campbell Stadium” game was not, for some reason, televised, a fact to which Jim Fyffe in part credited his early popularity – people were so dependent upon him to color for them what turned out to, really, be an insane game, that the affection that might have taken a few more years to really set in was established and solidified in just one night. And color it he did – indeed, his call of the final touchdown is possibly my favorite ever, though the audio here does it little justice. However, Workcake’s soundtrack for the video as a whole is great. Also, you’ve gotta love Dye’s nonchalant Fonzy-styled celebration… and man, Fullwood (Bo was hurt), and Freddy Freakin’ Weygand… beautiful.

Toomer’s Rumors and Boomers – 2.07.08

*** Fast Spencer Pybus is Auburn’s newest linebacker. I liked him before I knew he was a lifelong Auburn fan: not only did his name sound Old Auburn (Pybus… Jim Pyburn), his face actually looks the part, don’t tell me it doesn’t…

War Eagle, Bus!

*** OK, basketball is kinda awesome. It was as if the angels were putting on a puppet show in the final minute of that game last night, everything was going right, save the final 3 pt. attempt. But my heart soared and for that, men, angels, I say thank you, it was awesome. Also, I award the Auburn Spirit stick to the cheerleaders, giving first dibs to the mic man, who charged onto the court towards the end of the game with a rare display of personal, situation-specific guttural ardor:

“Alright Auburn, we’ve got 3 minutes to beat Kentucky, everybody on your feet!”

That takes guts, and hot damn, we almost did.

My daughter and I met Auburn Elvis, from whom she ran screaming in terror.

“It’s one of Aubie’s friends,” I told her. She did not buy it.

I think that’s Auburn AD Jay Jacob’s back there…

*** “Enrique is a good young man. We’ll get to play against him now. We know how good he is, and we look forward to that.” — Tommy Tuberville

Yes, Tommy, I think we all look forward to that.

For some reason, I really love this photo – by Todd Van Emst

Toomer’s Rumors and Boomers – 2.1.08

*** The Powers that Be in the Auburn Athletic Dept. are apparently openly courting corporate sponsorship of the new basketball arena with the promise of “corporate naming rights.”

*** Of Chop Blocks and Hatchet Jobs: Auburn’s offensive line coach Hugh Nall has only seen his players commit three chop blocks in 23 years of coaching…

“Two of them happened to be this year on national TV. I think, had it not been Glenn Dorsey, it wouldn’t have been as big a deal. You have to throw that into the category of selective journalism,” Nall said. “It’s really disappointing, especially because the two young men involved are true freshmen. They are good kids really working hard to do a job. They wouldn’t try to hurt anybody.”

Read Phillip Marshall’s whole story. It’s worth it. I hope this is the end of this crap for Chaz. Props to the Dad (Key Ramsey – great name) for taking on ESPN. I doubt litigation would improve our querulous relationship with the Worldwide News Leader, but hey, what would, and I think his points are dead on.

[photo by Mike Carlson]

*** This year’s Auburn-West Virginia game has been rescheduled to an ESPN Thursday night game more than halfway through the season. Southern Miss has jumped into Sept. 6th slot.

Though I can appreciate the obvious flip-side of the argument — more time for the Tigers to break in Spread Eagle, the original date set up much better for Auburn, at least in my way of thinking. I quote myself upon first hearing of the Rich Rodriguez-to-Michigan saga, i.e. that West Virginia would be riding a new coach into ’08:

“… this can mean nothing but good things for Auburn, at least seemingly… the Tigers start a 2-game series with the Mountaineers next year; it is their first game of the season (our second!). Despite their New Coach Impotency, their ascendant BCS prestige sticks around through at least the first game. We destroy them, but the NCI fast disappears. They end the season 11-1 and the computers swoon for ol’ Auburn!”

Now, not only will West Virginia likewise be able to take advantage of the extra prep-time — the only obvious Auburn “pro” to speak of — but the number of Auburn fans able to make a Thursday night game is surely less than the number that would have been in Morgantown on an early season Saturday. Oh well, Riverboat knows best. And it’s not like we’re not going to win.

Toomer’s Rumors and Boomers – 1.31.08

*** “Pat Dye has got to be on Cloud 9″ – If you need a distraction from the memory of last night’s 1 pt. heart-breaker to LSU, why not journey back to 1988′s 1 pt. ecstasy in Rupp Arena…

*** Here is a video of a poor child named Abram, abused and crying. This window into Abram’s hell speaks volumes on standard modes of Bama parenting. Watch, and learn, as the father laughs at his young son while recording him recoiling in tears at his crimson retching and then stand back as Auburn relatives attempt to comfort the child with “War Eagle”s. It takes a Village…

*** And to complete the YouTube trifecta for today’s edition, let us watch please-oh-please Auburn recruit Jerrell Harris do his thing. Auburn is reported to still be in the running for Harris’ allegiance and I say we think positive. Not just wishing him away from Bama but wishing him here if the Lord wills it.

To quote Auburntron, “He’s like a skinnier Blackmon on some kind of Mortal Kombat Liu Kang fatality / steroid / amphetamine rage.” More videos found on Rivals…

Hot Thoughts from The Hardwood

By J. Henderson

The Auburn Tigers played and beat the Presbyterian Blue Hose last night. For a while it looked like a Harlem Globetrotters game. It was basically a team of Spudd Webbs out there. I was taller than half the team and probably weigh as much as three of them combined… and I’m not tall. But they were scrappy and I’m told their size changes the style of the game — they only got one offensive rebound, and I think it may have been a fluke. I’m sure they’re good people.

This is all to say that it was a fun game — a game to kick back and eat pop-corn and talk about things with a friend, catch some t-shirts. Matt Heramb had a good game and Russell and I got started on something, an idea that would really jazz things up in Beard-Eaves, and it’s this:

Alliteration will only get you so far and “Lebo’s Lunatics” is just an air-ball… just doesn’t have the PUNch of the “Cliff Dwellers.” If we have to stick with a coach-specific derivation (not that I mind), our idea — and I think it’d really generate some interest — is for the serious core of supporters to express themselves as three separate entities: Le’Bo Jacksons, Le’Bo Diddleys and Le’Bo Dereks.

Le’Bo Jacksons would obviously be the majority male contingent that you think of, the Locos “Make It Rain” shirt-wearin’, hardcore fans who know the players’ names and things about them other than their awesome physical mutations. Conceptually ecumenical, this would involve the wearing of #34 jerseys and berets, little French mustaches in football face grease and the breaking of loaves of bread over their knees when we miss a layup or something.

Le’Bo Diddleys would be the name of the jammin’ drum-kit pep band. They could start gettin’ funky, do jive skits and trash talk the other team’s stars.

Le’Bo Dereks would be the exclusively-basketball game designation for the Tiger Paws and girl cheerleaders, or even just any real coed fan in general. Cornrows would obviously be involved – a double shout-out to DeWayne Reed, and bathing suits (the Tiger Paws need change nothing) and when we sank a three or dunked it or did anything really good they could all hold up posters with “10″ really big in marker.

This would not only put more bodies in the seats, it would be great publicity. We’d be on SI on Campus in probably less than two weeks. So consider this a challenge!

Photo OF Todd Van Emst

Next up is Alabama, which appears to be in a full-court mess. I hope we make them question themselves and their place in the world. I’m sure we will. Does Nick make it out to games anymore?

Enemy Deserve Snow Mercy

By J. Henderson

I took my daughter to the basketball game, so we won. I’ve taken her to seven Auburn sporting events. Football. Baseball. Soccer. Basketball. We’ve won every single one. Yesterday it was #15 Ole Miss at Beard-Eaves Memorial Coliseum. Make that formerly #15 Ole Miss. We were bundled up. It had stopped snowing outside but inside it was snowing pain. We were taken it to’em and seriously, I thought our fans were going to leap from the bleachers and unload on the stripes because it was like those three guys had decided Frank Tolbert’s extra fingers were an unfair advantage and felt “ethically” obligated to keep the favored Rebels in the game.

Tolbert wasn’t going to let it get him down, he was all over the court, or at least so it seemed, tying a personal record with 29 points. Heard on the radio that the ‘DDitional Digit Dynamo actually sprained his ankle in Friday’s practice and was iffy for the sort of playing time he got yesterday. Coach Lebo told him it might actually be a blessing in disguise… you know, slow his game down, let him settle; if it did, Lordy, I don’t think my eyes could have focused on him if it hadn’t.

One of Tolbert’s early 3-pointers…

“I was kind of more under control tonight, so I guess that would be true. I said after I got hurt I was still going to play. It wasn’t as bad as it seemed after I’d calmed down,” Tolbert said. “I got up early this morning and came over here for treatment and treated it until game time. I just had confidence today. It was a big game, and I stayed relaxed and let the game come to me.”

And when it did, he waxed on, waxed off and crane kicked it in the face, all while guarding 6’8, 240 lb Kenny Williams, aka Shaq with a beard.

I took this with my telephoto…

All our guys were ninjas on the floor – swarming, blizzard defense and fearless shots. Early on, we couldn’t miss a three if we wanted, think we shot 53% for the whole game.

Dewayne Reed broke his career high of 20 scored in Baton Rouge on a few days prior with 21. Luke Hargrove was on fire early on. Quan Prowell only had two pts. but came up with 12 rebounds and Quantez Robertson bought the go-ahead three a drink with one minute left and got its number.

Matt Heramb was in for two minutes. Other than that, all it took was six Auburn Tigers to make us proud. Proud. Tingly. Snow not only did we escape Pearl’s Bottom-Dweller Sausage Cellar, suddenly we’re kinda sittin’ pretty in the S.E.C. West. At least sittin’ cute. War Eagle guys, seriously.

I love this guy… see him walkin’ all the time, rarely is he without a shaker… here he is shooting granny free-throws for tuition or something…

I don’t know anything about basketball. I mean, I know enough. Be Like Mike, I guess… and at first I was just going to let J.M. be my Rick Bragg – I was just going to take some pictures with my new camera, feed him the uncredited vibe and let him write his quality stuff. But we talked, I’m going for it and I hereby tell you that yesterday, I became an Auburn basketball fan. Beyond generic Auburn support, beyond designating my gift just to the general building fund, beyond only paying attention when we play Bama — a straight up fan. Invested. Tingly.

I can’t get to football season fast enough, sure, but yesterday, I found a scenic short-cut.

Escape…

By J.M. Comer

… from Pearl’s SEC Cellar of Dead Meat!

Auburn won at LSU last night! Four Tigers scored in double digits and nearly a fifth, spreading the love on the court. The 3-point shooting percentage was nearly 50 percent! And how about this for a change — four of the winning Tigers spent more than 30 minutes on the court while sixth man “Cool Hand Luke” Hargrove (or “Luke the Drifter” Hargrove, you decide Tiger fans) came off the bench for relief, while the starting five of the losing Tigers all spent 30+ minutes on the court. Surely it factored into the win for Auburn.

This is a big, huge road win for Coach Jeff Lebo’s team. Lebo has a two game streak against LSU going now and has brought his overall record as the Tiger coach to an even 53-53. Get him over the hump Tigers with a big win at home against Ole Miss this Saturday!

Pearl works on the bengal, elephant sausage.

Pearl’s meat basement is now filled with Tiger meat of the Cajun variety. Also, she is perfecting a recipe for a spicy pachyderm sausage, as Alabama lost to Georgia last night.

For the love of God, Auburn, let’s not fall back into that place!