Monthly Archives: September 2007

Tea, Bo?

We apologize for becoming a YouTube annex this week, but we’ve both been busy and the pun just came to me and it was so strong… deeper stuff next week, I’m sure of it.

It ain’t hip to sip…

And now… the one, the original, the only… Vince TheBO” Jackson, from his Raiders days, my Lord… it makes me want to cry.

War Eagle.

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Filed under General, Pre-game Notes


By J.M. Comer


Gen. George S. Patton inspects units of the 301st Combat Team at Strakonice, Czechosolvakia, 1945.

“We’re not just going to shoot the bastards. We’re going to cut out their living guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks.”

It’s the morning before kickoff. You need something to listen to as you fasten your Auburn war gear. And make no mistake: This is war. No turning back. Storm the swamp and gut those Gators. We’ll take it to them in the trenches. We’ll take it to them in the air. We’ll beat back those Gator hordes and it will be glorious. Auburn will win it 27-24. Lil’ Timmy Tebow will get a lesson in pain and loss. Again.

May I offer this song for your pre-game ritual Auburn fans? “Desire” by Pharoahe Monch. It gets me pumped! Amped! The only problem is the name dropping of Joe Namath. I try to overlook it. These words sum it up: “You will feel me. You will admire. Struggle, hustle, soul, desire.” War Damn Eagle!

Gator fans, I haven’t forgotten about you. Please feel free to listen and watch my pre-game selection for your team. As the national champions you are still standing after all this time. Florida, you are looking like a true survivor to me. Your preening, primping, prancing football team will surely take inspiration in this song.

Gutting the Gators: What can Auburn learn from Ole Miss?

Did Ole Miss expose a few chinks in the ol’ gator hide last week?

Florida is committing an average of 10.5 penalties per game. During the Ole Miss game they were penalized 14 times for 127 yards.

Ole Miss’ defense is one of the worst in the SEC, yet they held Florida to 30 points. Wha’ppen?

The Rebels consistently dropped eight and nine players into the secondary, which limited Florida’s passing game. The tactic forced QB
Tim Tebow to tuck the ball and run. Coach Urban Meyer this week says he would like to limit using Tebow’s rushing attack. Will they look for others to carry the load? Will Tebow’s handlers risk injury before the LSU game by running their quarterback against Auburn’s defense?

The Rebel defense held Tebow’s completion percentage to 58.8 percent. The lowest of the season for him. He was 20-of-34 in passing attempts.

The Auburn Fraidy Cat sez


Last Auburn win in the Swamp? 1994. Thirteen years ago. Hmmmmm. Clinton’s first term as president. Ace of Base’s “The Sign” was the top song that year.

Last back-to-back wins against Florida? 1993 (Home 38-35) and 1994 (Swamp 36-33). Before that? 1987 (Home 29-6) 1988 (Swamp 16-0) and 1989 (Home 10-7). So it’s been done. That makes the Fraidy Cat feel a little better.

Urban Meyer is undefeated at The Swamp. Crap!

QB Tim Tebow is averaging 89 rushing yards a game. Double crap!

Florida’s offensive line has allowed two sacks all season. Three of four games have been sack-free affairs. Uh oh!

Auburn is going to have to throw against Florida to win. Yikes! The secondary is a weakness for the Gators so far, but the defensive front of Florida? Not so much.

This not-so-fun fact from from Sarasota, Fla.’s Herald Tribune:

Teams have been playing from behind against Florida and are forced to pass to keep up. And the Gators are stingy against the run. They are ranked No. 4 nationally, giving up an average of 54.5 yards per game and 2.1 yards per rushing attempt.

Man-eater Mouth Off (Quote of the Week)

This awesome quote comes from The Decatur Daily:

glimpse-of-club.jpg“[Tim Tebow’s] not going to run through me,” said [defensive tackle] Pat Sims, who has been wearing a hard black club-like cast on his left hand to protect broken fingers during games.

“When he gets a feel of this club,” Sims said, “he isn’t going to want more problems.”

(Glimpse The Club…)

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Alabama Fans: The Britney Spears of College Football

By J. Henderson

This is the scene I literally ran home from Jordan-Hare in time to see.

John Elway, Jr., jubilant, sweaty, charging the man-pile of jugular-speared victory, one throw, first down, touchdown victory, adding himself, another cell, growing the organism, the tumor if you will. Celebrant after celebrant, the tumor inside the Vishnu of Sabania grows and doubles and triples upon itself. The news is shocking.

Diagnosis: mortal. How long doctor? How long until number 13? We were supposed to be married in January, we were going to have kids…

Girls cry in the stands. Men rage, angry at the universe, their breath wet and stupid. They were never supposed to lose again. Ever. Arkansas proved that.

And then comes the debris.

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Belated “CONGRATULATIONS” to the One-Loss National Champions!

By J. Henderson

You did it Florida. You did it, and we salute you – belatedly, but crisply. What Auburn couldn’t do with a 13-0 season, you did with a 12-1.
However, if we may approach the throne, it is possible that we, Auburn (!), have played a significant part in your success, for think – if ya’ll had not been humbled in Jordan-Hare that fateful October eventide, perhaps you would have imagined yourselves invincible and possibly under-prepared for the Buckeyes, which, I know, in hindsight seems completely impossible. But at the time, who would have thought ya’ll would have beaten Ohio State? Lord knows not we! Good Gracious, no! No way!

And so I think – we think – that, when you most needed it, we gave you confidence and the can-do attitude achieved only in adversity and shame, the same attitude we have smelted in the early fires of ’07 and will pour hot and molten into Ben Hill Griffin Stadium, the same AttitUde we will then forge into a mighty shiv between the hash marks and shove – humbly, but without reservation, and with Can-Do Auburn Relish (CDAR) – into your soft, overrated, reptilian gut this Saturday night. And you just might need it if you’re to repeat!

But until then, I say congratulations on your accomplishment(s) and hereby present you One-Loss Wonders a gift from your old friends The Cardiac Kids (‘they never quit’): A trip down memory lane, framed in YouTube… and who knows, maybe you can 12-1 it all the way yet again!




And of course…

(It is Tuesday, and here it is. Auburn 41 – Florida 28. Yes, we lost to South Florida. Yes, we lost to Mississippi State. Yes, our first road game is at the swamp. At night. Yes, as of Saturday, we are the youngest Auburn team ever, possibly the youngest ever team in the SEC. Yes, Lester won’t be back until Vandy. This is all what will make it so good.)

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Let’s think 1994 and not 1996…

By J.M. Comer

Note to Auburn’s coaching staff: Please string these together and show them in the locker room this week.

Note to the rest of us: Purchase a punching bag, watch these videos and let your inner Quentin Groves take over from there.

Please direct your hate here:

Please sign for this package of hate, sir:

And your initials here:

And an example of some of that UF musical football humor (Gainesville: Humor’s Hotbed!) you’ve been hearing so much about:

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Good Moon Rising?

by J. Henderson

Frothy mugs of satisfaction were passed around in our throats and our skin crawled with the moonlight joy of ‘just winning’ and the beauty is that, in the end, we won handedly – the way these sorts of games are supposed to be won, up in the 50s, 55-20 to be exact. And that was a pretty decent team – did you know that early in the second quarter, Auburn had 71 yards to NSMU’s 266? (Thank you, new scoreboard, it does add an extra dimension.) It took until the final minutes of the game for us to catch them.

There were no boos, there were cheers all around and for the first time this season, our children did not have to ask their Dads if Auburn had the ball, they knew it and they could hear it and yelled accordingly. Yes Billy, we had the ball and we finally did something with it. And when New Mexico State had the ball, the one-man We of Jonathan Wilhite took it from them a couple of times, important times.

It was a beautiful, windy night. It did not rain. The moon was everywhere. And I mean, yeah, we all knew – when it was over, and when we racing home for the Bama loss that would swing life even more back into focus, when through the streets and gravel and the cigar smoke and headlights we jumped up and down and “War Eagle’d” from the balconies, yeah, we knew that it was it was just New Mexico State, and that’s almost why it was so New Year’s Eve and everything: it goes back to that ‘religion, purified’ idea. This is Auburn Football 2007 and the joy is in the journey, the joy is in being a fan.

So, I saw things. I saw beautiful throws, dropped balls, caught balls. If Robert Dunn can ever thaw out his hands, he will be a great player, but I say that the dropping of passes – in the numbers, in the hands, it doesn’t seem to matter – is by far our largest offensive tumor.

I saw tough running. I saw Mario Fannin make tacklers wish they played another position and I stayed to see his stat padding sideline scamper. I saw Ben Tate play like a man, I saw Jerraud Powers kill one, several.

[replay of first TD]

I saw New Mexico State turn Brandon Cox’s comeback fumble into a touchdown in one play but during that blinding, 60 second psychotropic nightmare, I heard nary a single boo, no, instead I heard bone-snapping, sinew-raping, personal growth. I saw the coaches put him back him. It was fragrant.

We are by no means great, and have only put a small down payment on being good, but Auburn winked towards Gainesville tonight, did you see it? Probably about the time the lucky, and banged up Gators pulled back into town, did you feel it? A 7pm game? Stars? Aligning? 1994? It would have made much more cosmic sense had Lester been returned to the active fold in time for the Gators, but you know, maybe not – whether or not he has anything directly to do with it, this has been Tuberville’s style… don’t opt for the easy cosmic sense, go double or nothin’, we’ll see that four game suspension and raise you two more, a single player does not patented Auburn Drama ® make. And hopefully, oh so hopefully, Tristan’s toe will be healed and the state of Florida will know Speed – biblically. And maybe the return of Blackmon?

I’ve been predicting it from the beginning and by “it”, I mean a resounding win, but I digress.

Despite the notes from at least one ‘live blog‘ I’ve seen bemoaning a paltry turnout and even questioning the commitment of Auburn fans, Saturday night’s crowd was actually nearly 1,000 people larger than that at last week’s SEC opener against Mississippi State and it felt like it. Had this once-gimme-game – again, against New Mexico State – been the fourth of the shining season we had hoped for, I would almost guarantee you that it would have been several thousand less, even if played in the afternoon. While the nighttime aspect likely added to the atmospheric incentives for a significant portion of folks, the late start also probably kept many at home. And so I therefore think that, after two punch-in-the-gut losses in a row, the numbers – even more so than the “Brandon! Brandon! Brandon!’s” – speak a great deal of good about Auburn fans, and in the wake of the nauseating phenomenon of last week, it was a statement that needed to be made. The number of Auburn fans on-hand in Jordan-Hare Stadium to see the Tigers take on the New Mexico State Aggies at 6pm would not have fit inside the facilities provided for the fans of such teams as Oklahoma, Notre Dame, Texas A&M, Miami and Florida State, just to name a few. Do you read that? The biggest home games that Oklahoma, Notre Dame, Texas A&M, Miami, Florida State and zillions more have ever played were attended by at least a thousand less people than were spilling it all for the Auburn Tigers last night – against New Mexico State.

It was a good night, a good day, a good sleep, a good Sunday. We’re Auburn.

War Eagle. We have a busy week.

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It’s Pronounced JORDAN #2

Locker Room after ‘74 UGA game

The second in the IPJ series is a candid of Shug sipping the literal Coca-Cola of Victory in the locker room after Auburn’s 17-13 win over Georgia. A young David Housel reports from the blur. The year is 1974, a season nostalgically neglected by many Auburn folks. The Tigers went 10-2, losing to Florida and Alabama. Their loss to Bama hinged on a highly questionable negation of a Gargis to Gossom touchdown pass. An investigation into that call would soon lead to an NCAA rules change. The ’74 team would go on to thrash an unsuspecting Texas in the Gator Bowl.

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