Those Are the Breaks

By J.M. Comer

“THE KNEE CAPO STRIKES AGAIN”
“Cornerback criminally crippled in capo’s caper”

What is going on with Auburn’s class of 2004 in the NFL? Something suspicious is happening to Auburn’s first-round picks. Their knees are being picked off … one by one. Methodically. Mercilessly. Gangland-style.

Tampa Bay’s running back Cadillac Williams was injured Sept. 30 by Carolina Panthers safety Chris Harris.

Miami’s running back Ronnie Brown was on pace for a break out year, but he injured himself on Oct. 21 chasing Randall Gay of the Patriots on an interception. That, or the 5-foot bong in Ricky Williams’ old locker fell out and shattered Brown’s kneecap during a pre-game stretch.

Carlos Rodgers at Washington. “During the Patriots’ first drive, his leg gruesomely buckled underneath his body,” reports The Washington Post. Injured on Oct. 21 against the Patriots.

“The Interceptor” is out of commission!

No solid pattern so far. But two of the games involved the Patriots. It would be creepier if Brown’s knee went down first and the injuries occurred in the order of their draft selection in 2005. But I have my suspicions.

I suspect an organized effort to limit the success of Auburn’s first-rounders. I’m guessing there was some sort of blood ritual performed between Apprentice Saban and his Dark Master Belichick. Look at the guy — he looks like an intense Druid sweatshirt wizard:

billbelichick.jpg

“You name it, we’ve talked about it at some point in time,” Saban said to The Sporting News in the article linked above. Cheating? Check. The best way to haggle with a hooker when visiting Miami? I’m guessing that’s a big 10-4.

So Jason Campbell’s knee needs some witness protection or something. [Since I have no Photoshop skillz, please imagine Groucho glasses on both of Campbell’s kneecaps.] One of his knees came close to being put out of commission during a preseason game with the Steelers.

Don’t worry about protecting the house, Redskins. Protect the knees!

Totally unrelated to the above, did anyone see these comments by Chris Fowler on ESPN.com yesterday?

I hope LSU’s stud Glenn Dorsey can play against Alabama on Saturday. He has been in a knee brace since being chop-blocked by Auburn freshman Chaz Ramsey two weeks ago. Dorsey, of course, stayed around for his senior season after passing on the draft. He wanted only to stay healthy, enjoy a final college season, and show what he can do when not constantly hampered by injuries. Now he might miss — or at least be slowed for — the game against the coach who recruited him … the game fans on both sides have awaited for 11 months. All because of a nasty, dirty method of blocking. One that somehow escaped the attention of the officials, who failed to flag Auburn.

That has been my least favorite moment of the season. All Dorsey does is show up, do what he’s supposed to do, practice hard, play hard, and serve as a great example for teammates. He is one of my favorite players to watch.

Tommy Tuberville is a coach with integrity. He maintains that Auburn “does not and never will” teach chop-blocking. I believe him. Thankfully, although the replay looked gruesome, Dorsey’s knee ligaments must be pretty flexible. The chop did not end his college career. But it did succeed in getting LSU’s top defender off the field for the rest of the game. It might help Alabama deal with the Tigers’ front a bit easier. There, Auburn fans. One of your guys might have helped Bama win a big one.

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1 Comment

Filed under Tigers in the NFL

One response to “Those Are the Breaks

  1. JayTiger

    It’s not just the 2004s, older (Wayne Gandy) and younger (Kenny Irons) have blown out their knees this season as well. Gandy had gone 14 years in the pros without a significant injury. Add all those to the rash of injuries on the current team and it looks like someone had been dealing some serious voodoo. Is this what happens when LSU’s voodoo curse on John Vaughn no longer has its original target to work against?

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