Hunting Trip!!! Stop the Press!!!

By J. Henderson

I wake up to a meltdown. The links are too numerous to list. Tommy Tuberville, says everyone but the people who would know (incoming Arkansas Athletic Director, the man in charge of the Razorbacks coaching search, called it ‘fantasy‘), is the new coach of the Arkansas Razorbacks.

Jay at Track’em Tigers says we have to take this stuff seriously because the mainstream media is on it. He didn’t feel the same way when CBS Sportsline analyst Spencer Tillman laughably reported on Tuberville’s immanent move to Texas A&M. The mainstream media was all over the Tuberville-to-A&M soap opera. So why start listening now, especially when the denials folks were clamoring for Tuberville to make a few weeks back now exist? Because people will hear what they hear, and addressing rumors is a damned if you do, damned if you don’t ordeal, and all the more so thanks to Nick “I’m Not Going to be the Alabama Coach” Saban.

Don’t say anything = why so vague, coach? Say something, coach!

Deny you’re looking for anything else = why are you lying, coach! Just say you want to stay at Auburn, coach! Wait, you do?! Ha! Why are you lying, coach?

As newspapers adapt to our modern ebb and flow, the lines are blurring between ‘mainstream’ and ‘non-mainstream’ news, especially when sourcing is involved. Mainstream papers and news stations regularly report on what ‘internet sources’ are reporting, which in turn gives the cited internet sources something else to cite, ad infinitum…

All it takes is one ‘legitimate’ online news outlet, even if just a well-read blogger, to say something like ‘rumors are swirling today on the internet’ and suddenly a report simply referencing the activity of internet message boards becomes a quotable source of information for a story waiting to be constructed merely out of circumstance… for bloggers, for newspapers (who’s reporters are now bloggers), for freakin’ CBS.

(Team A is out of Coach. Coach B once bought his son a Team A shirt. Internet sources are claiming… therefore, Coach B is packing his bags for Team A. Just listen to the sports anchor on the video Jay posted on his site: “This is also being reported by Clay Henry at HogsIllustrated.com” — HogsIllustrated.com is an “unofficial UA fan site.”)

I don’t mean to pick on Jay, because all my favorites are going Chicken Little… no offense fellows, but I just don’t see it, not at all, and it won’t happen.

InterThreat

The real nightmarish potential of the internet is not the facility with which non-stories can be reported, but for its ability to literally create stories where none before existed.

I called a girl one night in high school. I wanted to talk to her. I liked her, but was nervous. She was at a party with some other girls. As I stammered around, she said ‘oh, I know why you’re calling, you want to talk to Abby!’

I didn’t want to talk to Abby. But I knew Abby. Abby was cute. Maybe I should talk to Abby. Maybe I liked Abby. A week later, Abby and I were on a date.

It won’t happen, but that’s the thing I’m scared about: Tubby thinking maybe he should like an Abby. An Abby thinking maybe she should go out with Tubby. After all, he’s on a hunting trip…

slaythemhogstub.jpg

Revised Ark. trip photo – submitted by Ike

It won’t happen. War Eagle.

*** Update, 10:45 am

*** Update 12:45 pm

*** Update 2:56 pm – Barbershop talk is that there is an Auburn press-conference scheduled for this afternoon. There is no press conference scheduled for this afternoon.

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3 Comments

Filed under Diversions / Investigations, General

3 responses to “Hunting Trip!!! Stop the Press!!!

  1. ike

    i have to admit i’m concerned. i am a member of the nutty public, soaking up all the new jfk assignation and college coaching conspiracies. though, i hope these rumors are all bunk, and i’m getting my panties in a bunch for no reason. but, even if there are true or not, you’ve got to believe coach tubs is loving it. he’s been patiently waiting to get his revenge for ‘fly-gate,’ and this is his opportunity. we cheated on him, now he’s cheating on us. we just need to get dr. phil down to bama and hug it out, before this gets out of hand. so, i hope tubs stops flirting with the hogzilla, and comes back from his arKANSAS huntin’ trip with some tiger bait for aubie.

    war damn eagle! i want to take my grandkids to the Clairol Hare-Dye Field at the great Shug-Tub Stadium!

  2. rc

    Damn, I just don’t know. Maybe they ARE getting to us. But why didn’t he just say he’s not interested in leaving Auburn PERIOD (he could even say, ‘for the foreseeable future’ for all I care)! That would fix everything as far as I and many others are concerned. But he didn’t. We just keep getting too many qualifiers…like ‘as long as they want me here’. Sounds good until you remember that he is represented by Jimmy Sexton ( and I don’t need to even mention some of Jimmy’s other ‘clients’ and their record on this issue). It sounds very nuanced and polished for ‘as long as they will do what it takes to keep me here’.

    On the other hand, I know he is from Arkansas and hunts there every year, so it probably means nothing that he was in that neighborhood at this point in time. Bottom line is, this one has hurt Auburn and Tubby and if that’s what the Pig media wanted (and, no doubt they do), then it worked. If Tubby knows what is going on with AU fans (and, one way or another, I’m sure he does now), he knows the score at this point. He’s now got a very volatile situation to deal with…not necessarily from the administration, but from his core base.

    Truth is, we Auburn fans have been very insecure about his commitment to us since ‘jet-gate’ and have never really gotten over it. He was in the right then and we student, alumni and fans helped him turn it all around. THEY are gone and he is still here (well, most of THEY are gone). He knows it. We know it. Maybe he’s using that now as negotiation leverage or maybe not, but a seam in our relationship with Tubby has been exposed in a big way with this constant hammering on his leaving Auburn and we are both going to have deal with it…assuming this is another TAMU type of situation. I just hope it is.

    War Eagle

  3. AUBIGJOE

    WHY DOESN’T HE DENY IT????? NO HABLO TU INGLIS???? MAN—–HE SAID ” I WILL BE AT AUBURN AS LONG AS THEY WANT ME”. THAT MEANS UNTIL HE GETS FIRED!!!!!
    THE THING THAT WORRIES ME ABOUT ALL THESE FOOLS AND CHICKEN LITTLES IS THAT IT HAS TO BE HURTING RECRUITING. WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT FINEBOMB, MELICK, SCARBINSKY, CECIL HURT AND THEIR FRIENDS THE RED ELEPHANT CLUB ARE TRYING TO DO.
    THESE 18 YEAR OLDS ARE HIGHLY IMPRESSIONABLE—-WHAT DO YOU THINK IS GOING THROUGH THEIR MINDS WHEN A GREAT NUMBER OF AU FANS (SPELLED “FOOLS” ARE RUNNING AROUND LIKE CHICKEN LITTLE “OH WOE IS US—THE SKY IS FALLING”.

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