Monthly Archives: December 2007

Demonic, Demonic, Put Your Hands All Over Cullen Harper’s Body

By J. Henderson

quentin-groves.jpgIt has not, no it has not, been the season we wanted for Quentin Groves. Though I myself do not include his admitted distractedness in pursuit of the Auburn sack record, which I think some have misinterpreted, in the discrepancy between our lusty pre-season thoughts of quarterback carnage and the real time gridiron reality, the fact remains that, statistically (only three sacks) 2007, was not his best. Of course, generally speaking, this could be said of many a marque Auburn player, for various reasons: Brad Lester, Tristan Davis, Tray Blackmon, and Brandon Cox, just to name a few. But it seems especially so in Grove’s case. Jerry at the Joe Cribbs Car Wash best sums it up in his wish-list for the Clemson game:

“[I wish] that Quentin Groves finishes his career with one his patented sack-and-strips. It just hasn’t been the bed-wetting-terror-inducing year we all imagined for Groves, has it? From the “Oops, I wasn’t playing the run” admission to the dislocation injury to being denied more than a few memorable sacks by random last-second throwaways (Tebow still owes him one***) to the record hanging around all season like the last guy to leave the party, it’s seemed like if it hasn’t been one thing for Groves, it’s been another. It’s too bad, what with Groves being a likable guy who could have gone pro after–even more importantly–serving as Auburn’s runaway MVP in the 2006 Iron Bowl. A flashback to those heady days (or even to the kickoff of this season) would be nice even if it wasn’t so richly deserved at the end of yet another killer Auburn career.”

But it wasn’t all wistful, and the season was actually sandwiched with aesthetic glory – the first game heroics against Kansas State (which were grafted into the pre-game tunnel video in, I think, record time)…

… and his maestro moment, the conducting of the Auburn Schadenfreude Orchestra in the best Rammer Jammer ever, to conclude his final home game and Iron Bowl.

And now, with one game left, and with Groves currently tied with Gerald Robinson as the all-time Auburn sack leader (26), it appears that the Lord might be throwing him a bone (or some bones), as Clemson’s starting right tackle, senior Christian Capote (great name), is academically ineligible to play in the It’s-Not-The-Peach-It’s-The-Chick-Fil-A-Bowl.

Groves will instead face freshman Chris Hairston in his first career start.

I don’t want to jinx anything, but Chris, I do want you to know something – I want you to know the full name of the man hellbent on making history right through you:


It’s Quentin Demonic Groves. Look it up. That’s Quentin. Demonic. Groves. Quentin Demonic Groves will not be calling down the thunder on Christian Capote, he will be baptizing you, Chris Hairston, in the flames of holy Auburn hell. Just so you know…

No mercy, Cousin Clem.

Go for it Q.

War Damn Eagle.

[*** TWER Poll: Imagining yourself as Groves looking back, who would it be sweeter for you to have broken the record on – Heisman-winning Tebow (breaking a record on another record breaker, nice, almost had him), your publicist John-Parker Wilson (actually thought he had it – I’ll never forgive him for throwing the ball), or in your last college football game against Clemson QB and Brodie Croyle College of Football Analysis graduate Cullen Harper, who said that Tennessee Tech would have beaten Auburn had they not given up so many turnovers. Auburn won that game 35-3.]

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Remember the AL-La-Monroe!

It appears, here near the half, though they’re driving — and holy crap, just scored a touchdown, that Colorado is no La-Monroe. Not even close. But we can still have great, related fun at Bama’s expense.

So, good Lord, I hope ULM doesn’t slip up on us next year, for anything close to a proportionate Bama reprisal would be brutal.

In the meantime, bombs away…

These photos were sent to The War Eagle Reader by Monroe, La. resident and devoted commenter “Tiger Fan”… believe he pulls for the bayou variety, but hey, he gets the job done (check out his Cafepress store).

Apparently an Alabama fan broke down en route to Shreveport… directly… under… The Sign.

Guess they sorta speak for themselves…




Blurry but beautiful…

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The latest sticker, I think it’s kinda brilliant…


Should be seein’ more of these, on the “HIYSB” level. Go here to order… t-shirts, too…

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Quote Of The Day: 12/28/07 – Pat Dye, Slam Poet

By J. Henderson

“Your damn right it was, there’s no question.”

— Pat Dye’s response to Gene Stallings, when asked by Stallings if he thought his schedule at Auburn was tougher than Stallings at Alabama, particularly at the end of the season, which Dye famously dubbed “Amen Corner.”dye-with-tommy-tuberville_auburn-sid.jpg

Auburn typically meets its oldest rival Georgia before heading into the Iron Bowl.

The Crimson Tide played Cincinnati prior to Auburn in Stallings’ first season at Alabama and Memphis during his second; for the remainder of his tenure, he went into the Iron Bowl following games with Mississippi State.

The two former coaches joined Paul Finebaum in the studio during a recent broadcast of his radio show. Finebaum wisely kept his mouth shut and let Dye light the place on fire. It was a veritable Quote of the Day buffet, with lines like…

“They took Florida State and tore into’em like a big cat with a small rat.” — on Florida’s dismantling of FSU and the possibility that the Gators could very well be the best team in the nation right now.

– and –

“It doesn’t take but one Auburn man to be a majority.”

– and –

“I used to think that pros [pro football players] weren’t as good as college but I changed my mind, they’re the best.”

… I fell in love with him all over again.

Stay tuned for a breakdown of their interview / summit, some interesting things were said…


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We Can Dance If We Want To

Finebaum just had a spokesman for the Tuscaloosa Police Dept. on (“I listen to your show everyday”) to state for the record that there is nothing to suggest that alcohol played any part in Saban’s Christmas Eve eve accidents.

I was wondering why there would even be a reason to clarify… and then this showed up, added just yesterday.

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Deck My Face with Boughs of Pine

St. Nick’s first year in Tuscaloosa has been one car wreck after another; his latest, quite literally.

Yes, Christmas Eve eve, Mr. and Mrs. Saban drove their car into a tree lying in the middle of the road. Thankfully, no one was hurt.


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Filed under General, Iron Bowl 365

Bama Visions of Sugar Plums

From an e-mail, something I normally wouldn’t post, but hey, so was all this… and it was good, so weird and good…

Agent 00Saban…


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