Fear the Extension

By J. Henderson

“Everything is going to be fine,

everything has been fine.”

Straight from the mouth. Everything has been fine.

gossip.jpegI have said and felt from the beginning that, regarding Tuberville’s future at Auburn, there has been no truth to the rumors of his departure, nor to the notion that Tuberville decided to go Riverboat (who else could’ve created a media-frenzy over a contract extension? Have we looked in the mirror? Y’all have been wanting a Tuberville scandal more than the refs wanted SJPW to score in the Iron Bowl. On to the next (nice, Auburner): Tuberville to Miami! [Again!]) upon finding himself their subject; he has not been holding out, he has not been playing both sides, nor puppet-mastering, nor sleeping with the enemy. He has been living his life and getting flack for it (Coaches that beat Bama six years in a row don’t get to Christmas shop!).

You can just tell from the way he “War Eagle’s” you at Wal-Mart… or even the new Kroger… that Tommy Tuberville does not sit on the internet all day. And you can tell in his press-conference demeanor that he does not inhabit the Finebaum universe of insinuation and misinformation (I mean my Lord, look at this from nearly a month ago — “brazenly shops your name around”? As folks are finally beginning to accept in light of the clearing dust, there hasn’t been a single real link connecting Tuberville / Jimmy Sexton to anybody… they’ve denied it from the beginning, not that the means anything to people, as you can see in this story from a “legitimate news outlet” that cites Sexton’s denial of any Tuberville talks with Arkansas before turning around to repeat the rumor as fact: “Talks are ongoing.”).

Tommy Tuberville is the grandfather who doesn’t know what a blog is, the Dad who talks to the media on his cell-phone while at the mall (telling them things, oh, like that he’s never been contacted by Texas A&M) while his son is buying a game for something called a Playstation.

Tuberville is the football coach who has repeatedly accomplished what no other Auburn coach has accomplished. Tuberville is the man with the 9 trillion square foot new Auburn house (it is beautiful) who loves Auburn, who’s aging Mom is reportedly in love with the place, and Tommy Tuberville is the man who cried at the thought of leaving (or from the joy of staying).

And yet, despite the ease at which everyone actually involved seems to be with each other and the “situation”, there are calls for healing. Healing…

Meanwhile in reality, the ink is drying on Tuberville’s newly extended contract… oh, and he’s up for The Coach of The Year Award (which you can vote on here), which “honors the college football coaches who best exemplify responsibility and excellence on and off the field of play,” and has likely just secured the deadly Will “War Eagle, Mofo!” Muschamp for another year.

“We are excited about it. It’s one of those things where we worked it slow. I know people have been anxious. I haven’t been looking at any other jobs and don’t want another job.

I love Auburn.

We want to be at Auburn a long time, as long as we can be there. Good things happen slow, and we are excited about it.”

“Whew! Well, why didn’t he just say so?!”

He did. You wrote about it.

Fear the Extension.

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4 Comments

Filed under Diversions / Investigations, General

4 responses to “Fear the Extension

  1. WdamnE

    Amen. I’m bookmarking this post for mid-September when Finebaum starts the Tuberville-is-leaving bandwagon up again. How long can Finebaum drag out the “he played Auburn for a fool” song and dance? Probably the entire off-season.

  2. Best thing written on this. Man what a bunch of handwringing by others on something that had no chance of taking place.

    Keep it up!

  3. Wes Yeary has “Manson lamps.”

  4. rc

    You were right, JH. I wish I could honestly say I didn’t break a sweat over it, but I did. He was as good as his word the entire time, and now I’m feeling pretty bad for doubting him and relieved that’s he’s on board for the long haul. Next time this comes up, I’ll remember this. So glad it’s over. Let’s win a Chick-Fil-A bowl!

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