Hot Thoughts from The Hardwood

By J. Henderson


The Auburn Tigers played and beat the Presbyterian Blue Hose last night. For a while it looked like a Harlem Globetrotters game. It was basically a team of Spudd Webbs out there. I was taller than half the team and probably weigh as much as three of them combined… and I’m not tall. But they were scrappy and I’m told their size changes the style of the game — they only got one offensive rebound, and I think it may have been a fluke. I’m sure they’re good people.


This is all to say that it was a fun game — a game to kick back and eat pop-corn and talk about things with a friend, catch some t-shirts. Matt Heramb had a good game and Russell and I got started on something, an idea that would really jazz things up in Beard-Eaves, and it’s this:

Alliteration will only get you so far and “Lebo’s Lunatics” is just an air-ball… just doesn’t have the PUNch of the “Cliff Dwellers.” If we have to stick with a coach-specific derivation (not that I mind), our idea — and I think it’d really generate some interest — is for the serious core of supporters to express themselves as three separate entities: Le’Bo Jacksons, Le’Bo Diddleys and Le’Bo Dereks.

bo-breaking-bat.jpgLe’Bo Jacksons would obviously be the majority male contingent that you think of, the Locos “Make It Rain” shirt-wearin’, hardcore fans who know the players’ names and things about them other than their awesome physical mutations. Conceptually ecumenical, this would involve the wearing of #34 jerseys and berets, little French mustaches in football face grease and the breaking of loaves of bread over their knees when we miss a layup or something.

bodiddley.jpgLe’Bo Diddleys would be the name of the jammin’ drum-kit pep band. They could start gettin’ funky, do jive skits and trash talk the other team’s stars.

bo-derek.jpgLe’Bo Dereks would be the exclusively-basketball game designation for the Tiger Paws and girl cheerleaders, or even just any real coed fan in general. Cornrows would obviously be involved – a double shout-out to DeWayne Reed, and bathing suits (the Tiger Paws need change nothing) and when we sank a three or dunked it or did anything really good they could all hold up posters with “10” really big in marker.

This would not only put more bodies in the seats, it would be great publicity. We’d be on SI on Campus in probably less than two weeks. So consider this a challenge!


Photo OF Todd Van Emst

Next up is Alabama, which appears to be in a full-court mess. I hope we make them question themselves and their place in the world. I’m sure we will. Does Nick make it out to games anymore?


1 Comment

Filed under Auburn Basketball

One response to “Hot Thoughts from The Hardwood

  1. Adam E.

    How about the “Court Jeffsters?” And they could all wear Joker hats… I dunno.

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