It’s the ephemerality — the trades, the strikes, the other stuff — that have kept me from anything close to affection for a professional sports franchise.
The fickle whims of megalomaniac millionaire nerds can be a hard pickle to swallow when the team to whom you’ve whored your identity from youth runs off with a younger city. And yesterday — the darkest of their history, according to ESPN columnist David Schoenfield — Seattle sports fans were surely gagging.
But their pain is our trickle-down pleasure in that, by ranking the cities’ collective sporting woes from 1-10, all-around Seattle fan Schoenfield has given Auburn fans guilt-free license to hyperlink away precious time in reflection on a particularly memorable display from our greatest living accomplishment.
That’s right — Schoenfield ranks Bo’s short yardage ruination of Brian Bozworth as the 9th darkest hour in the history of Seattle sports. The irony? Schoenfield also heralds that scene as the best illustration of…
… the ineptitude of Ken Behring, one of the worst owners in sports history, a California real estate developer who constantly threatened to move the team.
In other words, the waxing of The Boz by the great champion of the most spirited university ever serves as a squint-and-you’ll-see-it metaphor for just why the college game is so vastly superior.
Well, I just watched it, and I suppose the compelling cultural context of Bo over Boz, rather than its actual on-the-field representation, is what makes it memorable; there’s only so much action that can happen in 5 yards (though he did plow through him). But afterwards, I noticed one of those related videos, one I’d never seen before, one that has all the clips I’ve searched for but never found — the wall run, the warning track rocket, the bat over the head, and more football runs than I’ve ever dreamed of.
My God, people. We were visited. Behold this truth as evident: