Definition of a ‘Bama’: Bare Bryant edition

By J.M. Comer

What is a “Bama” you ask?

In the mid-Atlantic states the urban vernacular has skewed the term to this hilarious meaning: “cannot dress well” or “fashion misfit.”

You definitely hear “Bama” used this way on the streets of Washington , D.C. , Baltimore and Philly. You might have even heard the term used while watching HBO’s “The Wire.”

Of course, we here at The War Eagle Reader want to point to this interesting verbiage and, as a service to our blog readers and the confused members of the Tide Nation, help spread this new urban usage and educate others about its particularities.

Blatantly ripping off Vice’s DOs & DON’Ts and tipping our hat to the excellent “Bammer” work at The Corner of Wire Road & Shug we will attempt to offer you, dear reader, a weekly refresher on the fashion/thinking of a Bama. In no way are we making fun of the Bamas of Bama Nation – we wouldn’t dream of doing that. We humbly offer to help lift the veil of crimson ignorance from the clouded visage of all Bamas. From pain comes the truth.

So, without further delay, we offer you the first in a series of Bamas. This week we focus on Bama “boudoir fashion.”

DO:

This Auburn Tiger fan takes a simple black-and-white photo of herself and her Aubie doll for a sweetheart.

DON’T:

This Bama, wearing a lacy-sleeved black dress, tries to get “the juices flowing” by posing with her Big Al doll by the Christmas tree. Things start to unravel from this point.

She pulls Big Al closer trying to steam up the lens. Is that an AIDS awareness tattoo?!?! Wow.

Oh no! Big Al never saw it coming.

Moving on to poor, poor Frosty.

DON’T:

Just don’t. Oh. God. Shield our eyes from this … wrongness. If the digital date in the corner didn’t say 2006, I’d swear this was a photograph of Mike Price’s first Tuscaloosa escort.

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