E-Mailed ULM Review from Chris Shelling, Jr.

I like reviews of last Saturday’s game just before the upcoming game. A reminder of what was and the changes the week has brought. (For example, the minor clamor for Kodi Burns to be named our starting QB in the immediate wake of the ULM game, is now at least (supposed to be) temporarily moot due to a pesky 7″ gash. Chris Todd will be starting against Southern Miss and, as Jerry noted, he might play the whole game!)

[And Leonard Postoties Smart Pill Prediction Time: I say Todd lights it up like Desert Storm. FWIW quote from Lubbockite coworker who fondly remembers Todd from his Texas Tech days: “Man, once Todd starts, that other kid won’t have a chance…”]

This brings me to Chris Shelling, Jr. I’ve mentioned him before. Chris Shelling, Jr. lives, for the time, in Japan. No one knows more about the game of football or the game of life. And he’s only 16, a child prodigy, or wunderkind, if you will. He’s teaching Japanese children English, also convincing them, through the magic of YouTube, that he played / plays (?) for the Auburn Tigers. If I were Japanese, I’d believe him, too.

He’s yet to write an official post for TWER, but he recently gave me permission to steal his lines and quote him without credit (didn’t you?).

Here is a portion of a recent e-mail he sent me following the ULM game. I hesitate to post it for some of the language — afterall, TWER is a family blog. Rather, it’s a blog that family men read, family men that might not hesitatate to click on a British girl in her Auburn-shirt and panties (not because “hey, it’s OK, we’re guys,” but because “hey, it’s OK, it’s Auburn.”) but who might feel bad about patronizing one of these… blogs, they call them… featuring gratuitous eff-bombs. But wait! you say. What the eff, you hypocrite! Ah, but the Thom Gossom story was, obviously, literature. That makes it OK. And I was mostly quoting (as I am here.)

And besides, CSJ is an artist and I respect the hell out of him. I respect his opinion.

Here it is (with only one word omitted, out of pure personal preference, and whatever, none of it’s really bad at all):

i got the espn gameplan online. its hot. hot hot. so after watching the game and the replay (twice) there is no doubt in my mind that a) we will be fine and b) burns needs to be the qb (with cox#2 uh i mean todd getting a few snaps). kodi has the ability to out of nowhere go rembrandt on that ass. did you see the non-touchdown to rod smith. he was running backwards. it was like michael jordan hitting a fadeaway. there were times i couldn’t tell if he was flustered and running because he didn’t know what to do or if he was like, ‘fuck it the recievers can’t catch so ima bust out mah fuck lion.’ either way it was awesome. but we do need to get better. i think we ran about 10 plays all game and showed almost nothing. its the auburn way. quoth the robert dunn:

“I know what plays we can run and what plays the coach could have been running. On the defense the middle of the field was wide open. Anyone could see that. Just throw a post and we score a touchdown every time.

“We really didn’t want to open up the playbook much,” he adds. “We were up. There’s no need to pile it on. You’ve got to have respect for the game. If you’re up 28-0 or 34-0 there’s no need to try to hail mary the ball. Things like that get players hurt. We just kept it basic and simple. I don’t feel like we have any struggles.”

oh and eric smith, neiko thorpe, and pybus looked good. if we can find some super fast midget running back to compliment smith for the next few years we will be tough to defend. hmmm

Family Man warning, turn this down, especialy half way through. And when he says “weak ass” you don’t have to respond.

defense – jamaican fast and… strong. bynes may be better than blackmon. blackmon should be at olb with stevens. johnson and harden can backup everyone. do it willis.

What do y’all think?

***

A quick update: my new and very real, real job is currently keeping it quite difficult for me to post much of anything at the moment. But that’s like, so the bloggers badge of honor, n’est-ce pas? Still, ah, mmmm, so much to write about.

Good news, however, is that I think I can, I think I can, I think I can get the game this weekend. The Buffet Bowl. Watch. Sit. Scream.

War Eagle.

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2 Comments

Filed under General, Pre-game Notes

2 responses to “E-Mailed ULM Review from Chris Shelling, Jr.

  1. CD

    Kanichiwa (or however you spell it), Chris Shelling Jr. You are the man.

  2. Just found your blog today after searching for stuff from today’s game… War Eagle!

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