Everything’s Bigger in Texas, I think I made a Big Mistake.

The ironies of the UnSeason continue to pile up like unpaid bills. At least the personal ironies, for me. It started in August. I get a new job and find out I’m moving. I was going to have a press pass for this season! I could have been on the field! But no… moving… to the town of the spread happy “it’s our season” team coached by the ol’ Jedi buddy of Tony Franklin, who’s presence at Auburn was supposed to make it our season, too. Oh, and the two teams were picked to pack the Sugar Bowl together, of course, of course, by the same guy who’d just finished gushing over what an eccentric, offensive genius said Jedi buddy used to be.

Can’t you feel it?

And then the actual move, from Auburn to L-word, Texas: my fake-spread Auburn falls apart, their real-spread T. Tech is undefeated and gunning for a national championship and apparently about to play their first game on TV from the way folks around the office are acting. I knew my faith was powerful — just starting an Auburn pride band in 2004 was enough to 13 and 0 us — I just didn’t know the mojo was dependent on my actual, physical presence. Oh, and need I remind anyone that the going theory behind the Tiger’s collapse includes Tony Franklin’s suspected (by some) blinding bromance with a supposedly spread-able former Red Raider?

I’m sorry, y’all. I had no idea this would happen.

And thanks to an e-mail from Kenny last night, it dawns on me – the vomitous-but-perhaps-perfectly-suited-for-an-Iron-Bowl-crane-kick implications of a T. Tech victory over the Longhorns:

Bama almost certainly moves to #1.

Father, give me strength.


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