Tag Archives: Auburn Cheerleaders

TWER Sez: Everybody Wants Some

By J.M. Comer

You people are horn-dogs. Horny, horny bastards and bastardettes (meaning the ladies, or is there another term? I forget).

And I love it.

Why am I saying these things? Well, you people prove my bold assertion week in and week out.

The streaking-Playboy-coed-swimsuit stories seem to always populate our top-viewed posts (see “Top Posts” at right-hand side below).

Perverts! Blinded by the power of sex! All of you!

But, in a bold move to glue more eyes to the electric sex of the Internets and give ’em what they want, we here at The War Eagle Reader offer … ahem … dim the lights please …

Remember those carefree fall days in college, rolling in the dead grass with Auburn cheerleaders? Sure, we all do. The cold grasp of the autumn air, and the smell of dead leaves and Lady Speed Stick always triggers images like this one for me.

Hot! Hot! Hot! I think two of them are making out in the left corner. Incredible. It’s probably best not to dwell too long on this photo. Something might short circuit. Isn’t your bible study class tonight? This photographer was in the right place at the right time. Pulitzer Prizes are won for such photographed moments.

Ladies, looking for a mysterious Auburn fan with passion? This grimace comes in two flavors: post-touchdown or mid-coitus.

TWER offers Tip #37 to all the playahs: Throw on your old, battle-worn Auburn ball cap; hit the party rockin’ it; and thank us later. To all the ladies: You cannot resist.

I’m hoping that this is the photo that bumps this post to the top. There is no way in hell it’s real. The tattoo is definitely Photoshopped on her and the Tiger in the background was clearly added too, but this is my ringer. I’m playing to the crowd.

Clearly, this photo is the real deal. Tigerwalkin’ Kenny Irons says, “Take my hand and I’ll show you pleasures you’ve never known.”

And finally, the tiger, the myth, the legend, Auburn Stud Numero Uno, Aubie. ‘Nuff said.

1 Comment

Filed under Diversions / Investigations, General

Toomer’s Rumors and Boomers – 2.13.08

*** Auburn coed, Jessica Trainham, is featured in the latest Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue


That’ll do for today…

Leave a comment

Filed under Toomer's Rumors and Boomers

Toomer’s Rumors and Boomers – 2.07.08

*** Fast Spencer Pybus is Auburn’s newest linebacker. I liked him before I knew he was a lifelong Auburn fan: not only did his name sound Old Auburn (Pybus… Jim Pyburn), his face actually looks the part, don’t tell me it doesn’t…

spencerpybus6_11200.jpg zeke.jpg

War Eagle, Bus!

*** OK, basketball is kinda awesome. It was as if the angels were putting on a puppet show in the final minute of that game last night, everything was going right, save the final 3 pt. attempt. But my heart soared and for that, men, angels, I say thank you, it was awesome. Also, I award the Auburn Spirit stick to the cheerleaders, giving first dibs to the mic man, who charged onto the court towards the end of the game with a rare display of personal, situation-specific guttural ardor:

“Alright Auburn, we’ve got 3 minutes to beat Kentucky, everybody on your feet!”

That takes guts, and hot damn, we almost did.

My daughter and I met Auburn Elvis, from whom she ran screaming in terror.

“It’s one of Aubie’s friends,” I told her. She did not buy it.


I think that’s Auburn AD Jay Jacob’s back there…

*** “Enrique is a good young man. We’ll get to play against him now. We know how good he is, and we look forward to that.” — Tommy Tuberville

Yes, Tommy, I think we all look forward to that.


For some reason, I really love this photo – by Todd Van Emst


Filed under Auburn Basketball, Toomer's Rumors and Boomers