Tag Archives: LSU

Thoughts from the West Texas observatory – LSU

(photo by the Incredible Scott Fillmer)

I thought we had it. I would have wanted an extra minute for the last drive, but even then I thought we had them right where we wanted them. Tuberville did to. And when, who was it — Rod Smith? — caught the 4th down throw off another great Todd scramble, things still made sense. But then, the yellow line appeareth and behold, it was short, sigh, damn, over. War Eagle.

There were good omens, though. The pre-game context, of course… the shot of the bouncy blond cheerleader celebrating our first sack, Nova, the rapture-esque (thank you Kenny) decibels a la Florida ’06, the pick six before half, the fact that we seemed to always slay defending national champs. But I suppose there were also bad omens. I don’t really buy into the Corso curse, but if you do, then that’s bad. Kudos to the priory of Aubie for again denying him access to the sacred head. Matthew 7:6.

That cant be good, it looks like they actually loaned him part of the suit! Pearls to swine? -- Photo by the incredible Scott Filmer

(photo by Scott Fillmer)

Also, what the h, Todd’s Taste of the Town? By no means do I fault the Creole Shack for doing their thing out there on Shug Jordan, I’ve never been there, but I mean, awesome, I’m all about it. But I can’t believe that ESPN would be so desperate for the easy copy, the easy irony. Well I can believe it, I’m just surprised they actually did it. Last year it was Byron’s, which is fine, great,  but the cajun place in Auburn? It’d be like highlighting Tuscaloosa’s little-known Punt, Bama, Punt Cafe when Auburn’s nailing the Tide this year. Can we not just go to Toomer’s? Sure they showed clips like everyone always does, but hell’s bells Todd, that’s your money maker right there. Do the history! Oh it’s so awesome, oh Jesus sold it as a kid, play it up like that, say it’s good enough to be a meal, thick historical cream! It’s Esquire Magazine’s #1 reason it’s great to be an American male, for cryin’ out loud! Or Lord, maybe just the Supper Club or something. Geez.

And while we’re at it, the entire broadcast sucked, an unending stream of faux pas, inaccuracy, and Holly Rowe, who I think I once liked, I can’t remember. But she kicked things off with an odd scolding of the Jordan-Hare crowd for being too loud when Auburn was offense, actually saying “They should know better,” and it was all downhill from there.

I think some guys that should know better are Mike and Todd. I barely know the game of football, but I was correcting those men the whole night. No, that was Auburn, not LSU. No that was LSU, not Auburn. Half the time they wouldn’t even catch or correct themselves. They were projecting make-believe penalties (against Auburn) onto plays, mocking the dyslexic, odd comments left and right. But none so odd as Holly’s commentary on the much-commented on condition of LSU quarterback Andrew Hatch after an educational decleating by Jeraud Powers. Hatch did not know where he was. He was slapping himself, shaking, collapsing, drunk.

“No, I know he doesn’t drink guys… because he’s Mormon.”

So, though I pray he recovers, I have to say that the demormonizing of an LSU quarterback — the thought of their cocky, horrible fans watching their Harvard man act a stumblebum after just your average Auburn hit — was one of last night’s highlights.

Others were Robert Dunn, Sen’Derrick Marks, and — beat me, whip me, call me Helen — Chris Todd. Sure, far from perfect, but good, especially in contrast to the previous weeks. He stood in there, he made big plays. We could have used a little Kodi here and there, but for that game last night, that environment, solo Kodi wouldn’t have gotten as close to what solo Chris almost could’ve, would’ve, maybe even should’ve pulled off. But again, together? Tag team? I think it works. Just put some thought into it.

But the worst omen of all? My theory is The Pants. We’ve heard nothing so far – no name, no figure (I guessed at least $5,000), but on Friday night, there was a transfer of power, a transfer perhap never intended. Pat Dye’s pants, his pants from the 1980s, were sold to the highest bidder. Perhaps they fell into the wrong hands. I’m not going to fault Coach for dropping trou on that wet, holy, windy day dead in the heart of his professional stride. God knows…  he did what he had to do. And it was beautiful. But though I went numb for several seconds from the thrill of the story of their recovery, perhaps, like the Ark of the Covenant, The Pants are imbued with a power beyond our ken, our worth and again, our morality. Earthquakes, fires, hurricanes, The Pants. Perhaps they should still be with the catfish.

Sure, there’s a lot to work on, more on that later. But there’s a lot be proud of, that’s enough for now. It’ll be another one of those seasons, one of those It’s great to be an Auburn Tiger seasons. Let’s Hang Tenn, let’s put Georgia back in their place, and let’s BEAT THE LIVING HELL OUT OF BAMA.

Shall we?


Filed under Post-Game

2004, it summons all our foolish blood…

and LSU is where it began. Where it began, began. Nick Saban, I might add, tried to get out of it, I’m just saying.

Chris Shelling Jr. and I were in a band together. Chris played tambourine. He was eleven. We had a show that night. We would celebrate. There was lots of cake and toilet paper. Lots of smiles. Lots of digital cameras.

I went to the game with my grandfather. All Auburn, All Orange, he wore blue. On purpose. Him telling me that was probably when I knew we’d win. We rode Tiger Transit over from Wire Road or somewhere. There was an LSU fan, so typical, so typical, on the bus with us. Picture him. Now hear him, hear his voice – that’s what he sounded like. “LSU’s gon’ whip that aye-yuss.” There were old people around, old Auburn couples, dressed to the nines, the same old couples LSU fans throw rocks and bottles at in Baton Rouge, and there were kids, little girls and such, and that guy was just bein’ himself. So that’s why we hate you. Nothin’ urban, nothin’ legend about it, cornbrella. Give me a Florida fan, any day. (but Doug’s OK, an Auburn man deep down, just a little confused, still experimenting, SEC, whatevs).

Back to Granddaddy. We smoked cigars before the game, he lounged on the grass outside the stadium awkwardly, like an old man in pain, and he made fun of me – they were Swishers, maybe those buy one get one Tampa Sweets. Willy came by, tall, bandanas, my grandfather treated him like he was in the service and shook his hand, glad I had a friend. Inside he kept seizing, kept shouting “run de bawuh, run de bawuh!” Which means ‘run the ball.’ I took out my recorder and taped him. Then it happened, that incredible 4th down conversion, and then the throw, the catch, the touchdown. More cigars and quick pictures, capture the moment! Thank you, Lord.

LSU man was no where to be see-yain.

Hours go by, people are feeling it. I walked behind the house, it was dark, night, there were cars driving by and horns honking, smoke, beer, people everywhere, girls, pom poms, shakers, and we all knew. CSJ busted out of the house, around the corner, blood on his hands. He saw me — and I think about this probably 20 times a year — and he yelled:

“Courtney Taylor, bitches!”

He shook that tambourine. It was a great day and a great night to be alive. It’s great to be an Auburn Tiger. Gox to hell, LSU.

Lord, be with us in our time of need. Glorify yourself according to your purpose. Keep folks safe. War Eagle, forever. Amen.

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Filed under Pre-game Notes

History Lesson: Quakegame Revisited

I stayed up all night last year and wrote this. The whole thing – the research, the writing – probably took one whole day of my life. I’m not sure if that made God happy or not, but it felt right at the time. I felt like a loser, but also like a winner. Surreal. The prose is mostly terrible. The history is accurate. It seemed a shame to waste it to those barely 200 hits a day days. I thought of remixing it, editing it, but the era when such was possible, when time did not exist, exists for me no more.

The truth will set you free, yeaux.

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Filed under General

Win or Lose, What Will LSU Whine About After This Year’s Game?

2006: “No Fair! I’m Gonna Take My Football And Go Home!”

From Auburn Undercover:

“If the game is close in the fourth quarter we can pack up and go home because we always seem to get the short end of the stick,” LSU junior wide receiver Brandon LaFell said candidly.

LaFell can point to a call that didn’t go his way in the 2006 game that could have helped LSU win.

Just before halftime in a scoreless tie, LSU was driving for a score. LSU faced second-and-10 at the Auburn 27 when JaMarcus Russell lofted a pass into the end zone for LaFell.

Auburn cornerback David Irons appeared to hold or interfere with LaFell, but no call was made. Instead of having a first down in the red zone, LSU eventually had to settle for a field goal. The purple and gold Tigers wouldn’t score again.

“I was upset,” LaFell said. Irons, he recalled, was hardly apologetic.

“He said, ‘The play’s over, the ref didn’t call it, so quit crying,'” LaFell said.

2007: “You Did It On Purpose! Ooohh! You Play Too Rough You Big Meanies!”

From today’s issue of The Advocate:

Somebody brought it [Auburn guard Chaz Ramsey’s chop block at the knees of former LSU star Glenn Dorsey] up to LSU defensive tackle Ricky-Jean Francois Tuesday, though, and he didn’t mince words. …

“When I first saw it happen, I froze up because I didn’t think a team would really do something like that,” said Ricky-Jean Francois, who was on the sideline, but not in action because of an NCAA suspension. “They kept showing it on the scoreboard and you can see it all over the place on YouTube. It’s not something that is going to go away.” …

“Is the game really that serious or that important that you’d go out and ruin somebody’s career?” Jean-Francois said. “I wasn’t really worried about it happening again until somebody mentioned it (Tuesday). Now it’s something you have to think about. I hope whatever happens this week, they let a pancake block be the worse thing they do.”

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Filed under General, Pre-game Notes

The Best Things Come…

We clicked, we waited… he finally delivered.

An LSU seven-layer wrap-up. Or five layers, and with the choicest ingredients… (keep in mind, a series)

Now we can move on, heal, thrill… and, as the Auburner puts it, beat the crap out of Ole Miss. War Eagle.

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Filed under General, Pre-game Notes

Geaux Figure: Reaction to the latest Polls.

By J. Henderson

In 2004, the Lord blessed Auburn with a magical team. Beer was colder that year, pizza hotter, Coke had more of a burn. The Tigers were alive like never before. We were number one in the hearts of heaven and on the fields of earth, though, in the case of the latter, tragically unrecognized as such – for the most part.

“We’re sorry,” we were told, “you’re only shot to play for it all is for USC or Oklahoma to lose, I mean, sorry…”

And then of course we, an SEC team, were denigrated for our schedule. Never mind that Auburn, Oklahoma and Southern Cal all played the same number of teams (six) who ended the season with losing records. USC’s closest game that year was a 3 pt win over 4-7 Stanford. OU only beat 4-7 Kansas State by 10, and a 7-5 Oklahoma State by 3. Meanwhile, Auburn’s closest game was a 1 pt. victory over 9-3 and defending (one-loss) National Champions LSU. The closest we got to losing to a team with a losing record was 18 pts (Arkansas).

Nonetheless they said — suck it, one of those two teams has to lose. And when they didn’t, and we were kept out, and freaked out, and howled for justice, they said to get over it and to stop acting paranoid, the world’s not against you, Auburn, “that’s just the way it works.”

Auburn knew better. When the Herbstreits said that beating #5 Georgia (10-2) would prove we were for real and deserved a shot and then immediately congratulated us for disemboweling that team by claiming that a blowout of the Bulldogs really didn’t mean anything, we knew. We were all walking to Toomer’s, through the dark tailgates and cellphones, and we saw him say it, right there in the HD glow. People said come listen to Herbstreit, you won’t believe it. We believed it. We knew.

When Florida, the team we were the only ones to beat, went on to win it all last year, we were sorta reminded. (Since the inception of the BCS, the only SEC school to go 13-0 and undefeated has been Auburn, and yet two SEC teams have been crowned champs.)

And when, last weekend, still hot with joy from gutting the (one-loss — to Auburn) defending National Champions, we hear that LSU jumped ahead of USC in the polls to land at #1, when USC struggled to beat a decrepit Washington and LSU struggled to beat a decrepit Tulane, we shook and hung our heads with knowing smiles.

Apparently USC doesn’t have to lose. Apparently you can jump another, higher ranked undefeated team when they’ve had a crap-day, and even when you’ve had a crap-day. Of course, we had no crap days in ’04, but Auburn, we were told, could not jump OU or USC were the Tigers to beat Michigan or Texas or Ohio State or anyone by 100 points as long as the other two teams beat some cripple by 1. When, as the issue was really being pressed on a November Saturday in the final stretch of the season, Oklahoma was beating a 5-6 team (Nebraska) by 27, while we were beating a 10-2 team (again, then-#5 ranked Georgia) by 18. When USC squeaked by UCLA (6-6) by only 5 pts a couple of weeks later, we were beating Tennessee (10-3, two of those losses to Auburn) for the second time, in a conference championship game, by 10. And yet nothing. While Auburn, whose entire backfield from that season was taken in the first round of the 2005 NFL draft, was beating and often blowing out top ten team after top ten team, both OU and USC were barely beating squads they should have destroyed. “But, hey, listen…”

Despite the Tulane angst, LSU deserved to be number one and they got what they deserved. And I hope they hold onto it until we beat them in a week or so, or you know, maybe still even then (I’m thinking 14-7). But yes, apparently that can happen – a team can jump ahead, jump even the vaunted USC Trojans, even in un-defeat… just not Auburn.

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Filed under Diversions / Investigations, General