Tag Archives: Pat Dye

The Duty

championfootballteam

The duty of this eleven was

To put Tuscaloosa in tears.

There was Smith and Shafer and Johnny Glenn

And Brown and Williams too.

Many others with us came,

And wore the Orange and Blue

For eleven little tiger boys, lad,

For eleven little tiger boys.

Everyone’s mothers and their brothers

Just knew what they could do.

And eleven little tiger boys, lad,

Will break Tuscaloosa’s heart.

She is another that we will smother,

Before we drift apart.

The earliest surviving reference to the Auburn football team as “Tigers,” written by Walker R. Tichenor, Auburn’s quarterback, and youngest son of former Auburn president Isaac Taylor Tichenor, prior to the 1894 Auburn-Alabama game. Which we lost. But listen to the tone…

… and we were underdogs.

This Thanksgiving, I was thankful for Auburn’s genetic advantage in it’s rivalry with Alabama. Whether bringing eleven wins or eleven losses or five wins and six losses, Auburn will always enter the Iron Bowl as the underdog.

In the beginning, we owned them. When the fires of football, set by George Petrie, first engulfed the state, Tuscaloosa could but bend over before the gods of Auburn and pray for dark. Yet even then, in the bowers of innocence and conquest, the Tigers were a priori underdogs, presumed inferior, a mere college fighting… The University.

The wins came, as did the losses. The Bryant years were mostly misery. The Dye years mostly great. They’ve had a streak of nine. We’re on a streak of six. But Auburn, a tiny village, has never entered a game with Alabama, an entire state, without that Tiennamen Square middle finger and the support of heaven.

And it never will.

gah-12

I often imagine the shift. What will happen? When the wins are even? When we take the lead? When our wins outnumber theirs by double digits? Triple digits?

Though we want it, though we await for it like Christ’s return, I once quietly feared that win column dominance would dull the blade that drew the nectar of ’72, of ’82, etc. I feared it would change us. But I fear no longer.

For over the course of the past six years, I have realized that the dynamic forged in the ’60s and ’70s – the wilderness of our fathers, a wilderness which our young hearts have never known, but that bore in them the hate on which we were nursed – provides them no alternative to the disgusting arrogance they’re known for.

That is who they are.

When the streak stretches to 10 … to 10 x 10 … they will bark and they will howl and they will return to their vomit. But they will never be able to tap the spirit of the underdog. It is a sixth sense kept from them by the facts of the world and by their sin.

Meanwhile, it is Auburn’s birthright. And that is why we will win the last Iron Bowl ever played, just like we won the first.

And that is why we have a much better shot of winning tomorrow than they do (and … shhhh … they’re just not that good).

And it’s why we’re better.

I quote myself:

Auburn is not pro-football, Auburn is not some damn, trendy logo team, we are Auburn University, we are Auburn, Alabama, we are the heart’s hail mary, the twice-blocked punts, we are 1989, we are 1993, we are 2004, hell, we are 1950, we are Christ-painted sunsets, we are hope in things unseen, we are Spirit – I kid you not, we are Christmas, and Coca-Cola, we are Tygers burning bright in the Forest of the Night…

where-in-the-hell-is-tuscaloosa1

It’s Americana, boys. It’s country boy goes to town.

“Always remember that Goliath was a 40-point favorite over David.” – Shug

So, gather ye freaking stones, men. Tomorrow, we ride.

War Damn Eagle. To everlasting hell with Alabama.

War Eagle Forever.

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Filed under BEAT BAMA, Pre-game Notes

Eight Trousand Dollars

Surprisingly dated, I know… especially considering my initial intoxication, but here’s the zip up on the The Pants, which went for $8,000 – $3,000 more than my guess.

… the pants were cleaned and displayed in a beautiful, custom-built wooden shadow box along with Dye’s recovered wallet, credit cards, car keys and an autographed copy of Lake magazine that told the story.

If not slowly grafting to my person, than I suppose “a beautiful, custom-built wooden shadow box” is the next best thing.

(Thanks to Kenny Smith, truly the pants, for the update…)

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Thoughts from the West Texas observatory – LSU

(photo by the Incredible Scott Fillmer)

I thought we had it. I would have wanted an extra minute for the last drive, but even then I thought we had them right where we wanted them. Tuberville did to. And when, who was it — Rod Smith? — caught the 4th down throw off another great Todd scramble, things still made sense. But then, the yellow line appeareth and behold, it was short, sigh, damn, over. War Eagle.

There were good omens, though. The pre-game context, of course… the shot of the bouncy blond cheerleader celebrating our first sack, Nova, the rapture-esque (thank you Kenny) decibels a la Florida ’06, the pick six before half, the fact that we seemed to always slay defending national champs. But I suppose there were also bad omens. I don’t really buy into the Corso curse, but if you do, then that’s bad. Kudos to the priory of Aubie for again denying him access to the sacred head. Matthew 7:6.

That cant be good, it looks like they actually loaned him part of the suit! Pearls to swine? -- Photo by the incredible Scott Filmer

(photo by Scott Fillmer)

Also, what the h, Todd’s Taste of the Town? By no means do I fault the Creole Shack for doing their thing out there on Shug Jordan, I’ve never been there, but I mean, awesome, I’m all about it. But I can’t believe that ESPN would be so desperate for the easy copy, the easy irony. Well I can believe it, I’m just surprised they actually did it. Last year it was Byron’s, which is fine, great,  but the cajun place in Auburn? It’d be like highlighting Tuscaloosa’s little-known Punt, Bama, Punt Cafe when Auburn’s nailing the Tide this year. Can we not just go to Toomer’s? Sure they showed clips like everyone always does, but hell’s bells Todd, that’s your money maker right there. Do the history! Oh it’s so awesome, oh Jesus sold it as a kid, play it up like that, say it’s good enough to be a meal, thick historical cream! It’s Esquire Magazine’s #1 reason it’s great to be an American male, for cryin’ out loud! Or Lord, maybe just the Supper Club or something. Geez.

And while we’re at it, the entire broadcast sucked, an unending stream of faux pas, inaccuracy, and Holly Rowe, who I think I once liked, I can’t remember. But she kicked things off with an odd scolding of the Jordan-Hare crowd for being too loud when Auburn was offense, actually saying “They should know better,” and it was all downhill from there.

I think some guys that should know better are Mike and Todd. I barely know the game of football, but I was correcting those men the whole night. No, that was Auburn, not LSU. No that was LSU, not Auburn. Half the time they wouldn’t even catch or correct themselves. They were projecting make-believe penalties (against Auburn) onto plays, mocking the dyslexic, odd comments left and right. But none so odd as Holly’s commentary on the much-commented on condition of LSU quarterback Andrew Hatch after an educational decleating by Jeraud Powers. Hatch did not know where he was. He was slapping himself, shaking, collapsing, drunk.

“No, I know he doesn’t drink guys… because he’s Mormon.”

So, though I pray he recovers, I have to say that the demormonizing of an LSU quarterback — the thought of their cocky, horrible fans watching their Harvard man act a stumblebum after just your average Auburn hit — was one of last night’s highlights.

Others were Robert Dunn, Sen’Derrick Marks, and — beat me, whip me, call me Helen — Chris Todd. Sure, far from perfect, but good, especially in contrast to the previous weeks. He stood in there, he made big plays. We could have used a little Kodi here and there, but for that game last night, that environment, solo Kodi wouldn’t have gotten as close to what solo Chris almost could’ve, would’ve, maybe even should’ve pulled off. But again, together? Tag team? I think it works. Just put some thought into it.

But the worst omen of all? My theory is The Pants. We’ve heard nothing so far – no name, no figure (I guessed at least $5,000), but on Friday night, there was a transfer of power, a transfer perhap never intended. Pat Dye’s pants, his pants from the 1980s, were sold to the highest bidder. Perhaps they fell into the wrong hands. I’m not going to fault Coach for dropping trou on that wet, holy, windy day dead in the heart of his professional stride. God knows…  he did what he had to do. And it was beautiful. But though I went numb for several seconds from the thrill of the story of their recovery, perhaps, like the Ark of the Covenant, The Pants are imbued with a power beyond our ken, our worth and again, our morality. Earthquakes, fires, hurricanes, The Pants. Perhaps they should still be with the catfish.

Sure, there’s a lot to work on, more on that later. But there’s a lot be proud of, that’s enough for now. It’ll be another one of those seasons, one of those It’s great to be an Auburn Tiger seasons. Let’s Hang Tenn, let’s put Georgia back in their place, and let’s BEAT THE LIVING HELL OUT OF BAMA.

Shall we?

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Filed under Post-Game

Toomer’s Rumors and Boomers – 7.15.08

By J.M. Comer

The War Eagle Reader offers a roundup of interesting stories, questionable opinions and great comments from other team’s fans about the Auburn Tigers across the blogosphere. Also included is a roundup of news stories of interest for your afternoon reading and dissection.

Let the Eagle Soar!

A collection of favorable comments and interesting articles from blogs and newspapers about the Tigers.

Ben Tate comes in at 21 in Gatorsports.com’s (The Gainesville Sun) countdown of the SEC’s 25 top players. (Gatorsports, July 4)

Columnist Wally Hall says “Include Tuberville’s Tigers in BCS title talk.” (Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, July 15)

Auburn’s Sen’Derrick Marks will write a weekly column for Sporting News Today this fall. (Columbia Tribune, July 9)

Picture me Rollin takes a look at Bama’s loss to Auburn in 1997, coming at #5 in his list of “The Worst of Times.” (Picture me Rollin, July 15).

Tigers Roar!

A collection of questionable comments from blogs and newspapers about the Auburn Tigers.

ALERT! ALERT! RAAAAWWWRRRR! RAAAAAWWWRRR! Pat Dye comes in as #2 as “Enemy of the Orange” (Syracuse) in Post-Standard columnist Brent “The Axeman” Axe’s list. He actually calls Pat Dye “a tool.” Sounds like the Axeman has an axe to grind. Somehow, I doubt Pat Dye loses any sleep over any Orange hatred. (Syracuse.com, July 11)

The Elephants’ Empty Bleat!

Tide Nation is talking loud and sayin’ nothing.

The Capstone Report has fun with prefixes and makes a sad attempt at coining the phrase “Aubsessed” and insults other Bama blogs by calling them “lesser.” Can we join in the fun too? We sure did “AU-bliterate” your team the past six years. We’ll be happy to “AU-blige” you with a seventh beating this year. (Capstone Report, July 15) …

… then CR tries to claim the “selling out all our tickets first” battle with Auburn. It’s just pathetic really. (Capstone Report, July 15)

BamaFootball4Life lets loose the lame jokes. (BF4L, July 11)

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More Pants

I knew it’d hit the blogs pretty hard, and it did. But a non-AP version (yes, t’was picked up, just like the pants themselves, it’s all over the place) of the Pat Dye’s pants story actually made this morning’s Los Angeles Times.

And they say no one cares about Auburn football out there!

By the way — zero contributions so far. And only one comment! That is so not the pants!

But what is so the pants is Mike Dubberly’s impression of Dye, and yet I can’t imagine a Birmingham news station ever doing something like this with a former Bama coach.

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Pat Dye’s Pants

This is the greatest thing I’ve ever read. Read it and then come back. Total tip of the everything to The Corner of Wire Road and Shug.

OK — here is the plan. See that button way down on the right? The donate button? The S.O.A.R. thing? Click on it. We are going to buy Pat Dye’s pants. And then I am going to wear them.

Seriously, people. Let’s do this. I don’t address you with this sort of bloggish hipster hyuck-hyuck very much. But now is the time for action. Thank God that woman didn’t immediately recognize the significance of her treasure, I mean, for her sake. If it’d been me, and I’m down there with the Christmas Tree skeletons and the killer catfish tracks, and I spot some buried plaid in the mud and reach down to pull up some golf pants and feel around and whoa, oh man, actually find a wallet, and then I open that wallet to see the Glorious Face of Dye staring back at me from a pre-hologram Alabama drivers license, I would have absolutely FAINted from delight. And then the water would have come back and then “we” would be linking to an entirely different story — “Bloated Man-Corpse Found Smiling in Stillwaters Drought Bog clutching Pat Dye’s ’80s pants.” I’d be on EDSBS! And Greta!

But seriously — help S.upport real O.riginal A.uburn R.esearch: HELP ME BUY PAT DYE’S PANTS! Or maybe the blAUgosphere could take a time-share trophy approach: we start our own awards called The Pants and trade the pants from mantle to mantle. Or maybe something like that whole Flat Stanley thing and we swap them back and forth and document their travels and effect on our lives and on the outcome of games at which they are worn / present. We have until Sept. 19. Spread the word! Do I hear a dollar?

UPDATE: Yowzers, I’m gonna need $100 just to get in the red zone. Still… totally doable… as a team. And a Jimmy Buffet cover band is going to be there!

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Toomer’s Rumors and Boomers – 2.11.08

*** Top 10 Reasons It’s Awesome at Auburn Basketball games:

10) Easy spotting of Auburn luminaries.

9) You can walk on the court after the game as long as you look official / really tall.

8 ) You can pretty much sit wherever you want.

7) Aubie lets loose in ways he can’t at football games, e.g. sliding ten feet on the floor to bowl through the Tiger Paws, whom he harasses all night.

6) Kid friendly, free stuff everywhere.

5) Trough-style urinals still in full-effect.

4) Great timeout and halftime entertainment – Saturday night it was a world-renowned hypnotist and I think he really did something to those kids, cause, oh, man, the girl in the orange shirt (Indian perhaps?) who was told she was a Pussycat Doll, man, I am so in love. Anyone YouTube that? Photos?

3) 17 players… 172 fingers.

2) Frank Tolbert’s indignant “come-on-ref!” hand-jives when he’s really pumped up…

1) Up by 20 or down by 20, Auburn Spirit and the fight, the passion of youth floods the court every dang game, and that more than anything makes it worth whatever the market-driven ticket pricers, who’s judgments seem based purely on anticipated demand, ask. (I was given free tickets, right at the door, to the first two games I went to; there was a sign saying “$10 bucks” at the Presbyterian game, but the old man only asked for $5, the girl next to him look puzzled; Kentucky was $20, Miss. State $15, an adventure every time!)

War Damn Eagle.

*** In his latest column, commemorating Alabama’s 1,001st National Championship, Paul Finebaum is in classic form, returning as he does to what he knows best: Sabanphilia, fetishistic insistence that Tommy Tuberville’s doesn’t care about Auburn, and sadistic, repeated analysis of Tuberville’s annual hunting trip to Arkansas, which Paul now not only credits with costing Tuberville his credibility with Auburn fans (because he should have been back home fighting the rumor Finebaum himself started about his undeniable, completely right and natural interest in the Arkansas job) but with costing Auburn recruiting glories a la Bama.

I knew it wasn’t the spread, Enrique, but you could have just told us — it was the hunting trip.

*** The 1984 Florida State game. Watch the video, it’s totally worth the 9 minutes. This “wild and woolly shootout in Doak Campbell Stadium” game was not, for some reason, televised, a fact to which Jim Fyffe in part credited his early popularity – people were so dependent upon him to color for them what turned out to, really, be an insane game, that the affection that might have taken a few more years to really set in was established and solidified in just one night. And color it he did – indeed, his call of the final touchdown is possibly my favorite ever, though the audio here does it little justice. However, Workcake’s soundtrack for the video as a whole is great. Also, you’ve gotta love Dye’s nonchalant Fonzy-styled celebration… and man, Fullwood (Bo was hurt), and Freddy Freakin’ Weygand… beautiful.

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Filed under Auburn Basketball, General, Recruiting, Toomer's Rumors and Boomers