Tag Archives: Saban

IPhone is the new Saban

Is it A-Day ’07? No, it’s the Apple Store at The Summit.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “IPhone is the new Saban“, posted with vodpod

And there’s activation problems too! Just like Nick!

“When people worry over the economy, just recall that folks stood in line for that by the hundreds and the media covered it breathlessly for two days.” — Kenny Smith

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By J. Henderson

Hmm… perhaps the Petro-Sun Independence Bowl will be a bit more exciting than expected…

Apparently, former Colorado great and current CU running backs coach Darian Hagan is more than convinced that Bama cheated in the 1991 Blockbuser Bowl, which the Buffaloes lost to the Tide by a score of 30-25. Hagan was an impressive option quarterback from ’88-’91.

According to Hagan, his old friend and former Alabama safety Charles Gardner, who played in that game, admitted that Alabama planted spies on a Miami highway overpass near Colorado’s bowl practice site.

“I grew up with the guy,” Hagan said. “He ain’t going to lie. Why would he?”

And also apparently, such an analysis is party-line Colorado history: up until 2004, the CU media guide blurb on the game, focusing on a new offensive scheme unleashed at the Blockbuster Bowl, read “The change (in offense) took place in CU’s bowl practices and was a surprise for the game, but at the time it appeared that Alabama had found out somehow in advance because of the Crimson Tide’s uncanny success on defense.”

Hagan seems bent on payback and I’m pumped!

(Kudos to The Auburner for digging this up…)

Of course, Stallings was bush league compared to the new sheriff in town

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Pickin’ and Grinnin’

By Big Sexy

I’m thinking about “Hee Haw,” which in itself is strange. I haven’t thought about “Hee Haw” in a long time, but a serendipitous chain of events over the last couple of weeks caused me to reminisce about that old show that gave me such pain growing up in Alabama. My folks wouldn’t allow a single transmission of that program to go unwatched, so I grew up hating it because it would make me miss “Solid Gold” or “Buck Rogers” or whatever else was happening on ANY other channel.


A little known fact: Ernest Borgnine was a “Hee Haw Honey” in between acting gigs in the ’70s.

But on one of the most glorious road trips Ever (which will be the subject of later articles, I’m sure) to watch the latest installment of “Iron Bowl Smackdown, Volume 6, Whackabama Blues,” a couple of my music snob friends treated us to a few nuggets by Roy Clark and Buck Owens on their iPod playlists. So that got the ball rolling.

Of course, it was cemented a couple of days later at the game, because Alabama fans generally look like the turnout at a “Hee Haw” casting call.

Anyhoo, some wiseacre on the AL.com forum made a crack that made me think about that old group of hillbillies on “Hee Haw” that would sit around and lament and moan about their lot in life, whilst sippin’ from jugs of moonshine (again, the resemblance to bammer fans is friggin’ uncanny). So we decided to update the hillbilly themesong, so that the present day bammers will have something to wail tunefully while they shoot their kids and beat their wives (sung to the tune of the “Hee Haw” hillbillies theme, “Gloom, Despair and Agony On Me”):

“Gloom, despair, it’s dark at UAT (WOE!)
Six straight to the Tigers, excessive misery (OH!)
If it weren’t for houndstooth, they’d have no teeth at all (WOE!)
Croomed, no Bear, and stuck in the port of Shreve.”

Now I realize, with my old ass, that this little ditty is at best probably not that funny, and at worst just plain bewildering, for those of you under 30. But you little whippersnappers know how to work youtubes and internets, so just look up the “Hee Haw” hillbillies song about gloom and despair.

And, as long as we’re misappropriatin’ “Hee Haw” songs (and what better way COULD you spend your time?), we can take a look into the crimson pachyderm future with the song that Archie Campbell and Gordie Tapp used to sing on “Hee Haw.” This one’s for when that magnificent re-krooter, the Great Sabanus, takes off for greener pastures in a few seasons (and you know the green he likes, for which he performs some SERIOUS scoutin’, yo), and we don’t even have to change the original words:

“Where, oh where, are you tonight?
Why did you leave me here all alone?
I searched the world over, and I thought I’d found true love,
Then you met another, and PFFFFFT! You was gone.”

Yeah, I can’t wait to see the teeth gnashing that has become the Bammer tradition when that comes to pass. What will we be up to by that point? 7, 8 … 12?

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Filed under Iron Bowl 365, Post-Game


Auburn will play #15 Clemson (8-4) in the Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl in Atlanta on New Year’s Eve.

During the teleconference announcing our acceptance of the invitation, Tuberville and Jacobs appear *gasp* amicable and *double gasp* relaxingly secure in Tommy’s future at Auburn. And yet such is the force of this feminine brouhaha over absolutely nothing of the past few days that Waldorf-Astoria-casing Phillip Marshall still feels compelled to qualify the news somewhat forebodingly.

Speaking of “foreboding,” Alabama appears headed to Shreveport for the second year in a row to face Colorado in the PetroSun Independence Bowl (check out the great website!). Here’s to a losing season (2nd in a row, I believe) in your first year, Nick!


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Rod Smith and Ben Tate give a mixed-media / sign language prediction of how many more Auburn will consecutively hang on Bama = 6,115

By J. Henderson

I feel certain I speak for both J.M. and myself when I say that it has been and will likely continue to be a busy week, filled with post-postponing distractions, not least of which being lingering Victory Ecstasy Paralysis (which seems to going around). So, as for everything you would expect from The War Eagle Reader in the luxurious wake of Six Saturday, do bear with us.

But a quick something in the meantime.

Since the Saban snafu from the week prior has been ratcheted up to the point of appropriation for political commentary … I feel pressed to point out the aspect that I feel to be the most disturbing, the one passed by in the punditry parade.

Similar to my feelings that, in the “coon ass” scandal of early Saban Mania (which resulted in the first of two comment-clarifying press statements the Bama PR machine deemed necessary to cover for their coach in less than a year), LSU fans were likely much more offended by Saban’s gloating in their sense of betrayal (yeah, they “might not be able print that”) than in his use of regionally accepted slang, I can’t but think that the focus should never have been on the perhaps poorly decided points of analogical reference (of an analogy the context of which, though I’ve enjoyed the fallout, has been rather disabused of its intent) but rather his, at best – valley girl, at worst – inaccurate, articulation of American history.

“Pearl Harbor got us ready, you know, for World War II, or whatever.”

I believe Pearl Harbor got us into World War II, not really ready for it, or whatever. Maybe that’s a little petty, still I say nail him not for his attempted analogy [Saban hopes that: La-Monroe will be to Alabama football what Pearl Harbor / 9-11 were to America = a catalyst for unity and gung-ho attitude… of course, it won’t] but rather for that freakin’ “or whatever.”

(On a similar note, petty, sure… I believe that I may have stumbled upon some related, possible Nick Sucking, for note in this AP piece posted by The Sporting News (also linked above) the clean-cut omission of the hanging “or whatever.”)

As for the Iron Bowl, more on all that later but I will say this:

It was what it was. It was six in a row. It was spectacular.

Let’s War Eagle Forever.

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Filed under Diversions / Investigations, General, Iron Bowl 365

The Saban Sidestep: Bloggish Breadcrumbs of a Breakdown

By J. Henderson

Why wasn’t Will in church this morning? Because he was getting the jump on TWER in covering D.J. Hall and the Incredible Shrinking Suspension! I though I had plenty of time! Alas…


Still, though everything that should have been said was said and said greatly (as well as with that extra squinting between the lines that makes FTB so good – looks like The Auburner was on this too), I think that my original idea – a bare bones reiteration of yesterday’s Ian Rapoport live blog from Tuscaloosa, might help illustrate and underscore Will’s reportage and analysis.

djh_sad.jpgFor the record, I listened to most of the Eli ‘n’ Snake radio hick-waltz for the first half (and turned it back on for the glorious end), and not only was news of Hall’s suspension belched in whole-game terms (“…will not play today…”) but it was their go-to filler for every pause in the action, so much so that EeLah finally began to preface it with apology: “Again, sorry to belabor the point here, but in case you’re just joining us…”

Here it is… the trail… so pretty…

What’s up with DJ Hall?

Posted by Ian R. Rapoport November 17, 2007 1:32 PM

Alabama receiver DJ Hall is in uniform, he took part in senior day, but he wasn’t announced as a starter… So what’s the deal? Now, he’s not on the field, doesn’t have a helmet, and is playing the role of cheerleader…

Is he suspended?

Hall has played in every game this season, but last year, he was suspended for the first game because of an undisclosed violation of team rules. And he missed the Cotton Bowl his sophomore year for another undisclosed something or other.

Stay tuned…

Jimmy Johns… starting RB?

Posted by Ian R. Rapoport November 17, 2007 1:37 PM

Oh, it’s true. Mercurial junior running back Jimmy Johns earned the start at running back today. Alabama coach Nick Saban had said this “may be the week” that Johns contributed. And it was. A 6-yard run to start the game. Big cheer from the crowd, by the way. Obviously.

What’s weird is that Johns had the first carry, Jonathan Lowe has had a bunch more, yet Terry Grant hasn’t touched the ball yet. I don’t get it. Now, Johns is back in, in time for John Parker Wilson to throw a touchdown pass to Keith Brown. Tide leads 7-0 four minutes in.

DJ Hall suspended

Posted by Ian R. Rapoport November 17, 2007 1:46 PM

Alabama senior receiver DJ Hall is suspended for this game because he violated team rules, according to a Crimson Tide spokesman. So that’s why he hasn’t played. Not sure of the exact reason…

Terry Grant appears…

Posted by Ian R. Rapoport November 17, 2007 2:24 PM

Out of thin air — OK, from the sidelines — running back Terry Grant says hello. He didn’t play in the first quarter, as Jimmy Johns and Jonathan Lowe split the carries. But at the beginning of the second, there was Grant carrying five times for 41 yards, capping it off with a 12-yard touchdown run.

Alabama leads 14-7 early in the second. The only warts, I guess, are the two picks thrown by John Parker Wilson… Those may not help his passer efficiency rating, which was 99th in the country entering the game.

Driving the length of the field

Posted by Ian R. Rapoport November 17, 2007 2:42 PM

The Warhawks are hanging in there. Not just hanging in there, but playing even with Alabama. That last touchdown was not cheap. Anytime you drive 80 yards to tie the score, you earn it. And even while stopping ULM running back Calvin Dawson, it’s tied at 14 with four minutes left in the half.

Oh wow, a punt just hit the back of Simeon Castille, who was covering downfield. Bad luck for the Tide… ULM gets the ball back, though quarterback Kinsmon Lancaster is holding his left hand, like he’s hurt.

Arenas is down?

Posted by Ian R. Rapoport November 17, 2007 2:50 PM

Punt returner Javier Arenas was just down on the field, holding his ankle or leg. Not sure what happened when he was tackled, but he looked hurt. A few seconds later, he got up and limped off to a loud ovation. Now, he’s being tended to by the training staff…

With 46 seconds left in the half, Arenas is headed into the locker room for some medical attention. He walked under his own power, though.

OK, the half is over. And the Tide exits the field to loud boos. No hurry-up offense? Interesting… Tied at 14 with the Warhawks.

saban_yell.jpgNo wonder Saban was upset…

Posted by Ian R. Rapoport November 17, 2007 3:40 PM

Alabama coach Nick Saban spent part of this week ripping into his team for its lack of focus. Perhaps he saw something like this coming. Not that the game is over, but hey, it’s a game. More than a game. Louisiana-Monroe is up 21-14 after Kinsmon Lancaster found Marty Humphrey for an 11-yard touchdown run.

And this place is fairly quiet, even with 18 minutes left.

DJ Hall is back

Posted by Ian R. Rapoport November 17, 2007 3:43 PM

Apparently, it was a one-half suspension for DJ Hall. The senior receiver is back on the field after a violation of team rules benched him for the opening 30 minutes. Just now, he made an 18-yard reception. And Alabama is driving…

Time to head down to the field

Posted by Ian R. Rapoport November 17, 2007 3:56 PM

This is why I could never be a gambler. Who would’ve expected this? OK, maybe Nick Saban did. Alabama trails Louisiana-Monroe 21-14 with 11:52 left in the game.

How will this end? I’m going down to the field to find out. Be back later…

What now?

Posted by Ian R. Rapoport November 17, 2007 9:06 PM

Seriously, what now? Alabama suffered what can only be described as an incomprehensible loss. OK, you guys may come up with other ways to describe it. Man, I don’t know. All week, it seemed, Alabama coach Nick Saban was preparing some anti-overlook formula for his team. Yet… nothing. Warhawks ended up winning 21-14.

Oh, I asked Saban post-game if receiver DJ Hall was suspended for 30 minutes from the beginning. As in, was it a game suspension that turned into a half suspension?”It was what it was,” he said.

So, I asked, a half suspension?

“What it was,” Saban said.

How low was this one, guys? The worst loss you can remember? Put it into perspective for me…

What now, Ian? The Saban Sashay (watch those hips!), and then simply more of the same…

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Filed under Diversions / Investigations, General, Iron Bowl 365

The Sabanic Versus

By J.M. Comer

This kind of column writes itself. Words are typed at a feverish pace. The brain is hot and throbbing. The cage that holds back the terrifying claws of that inferiority complex has been rattled. The red-headed stepchild gets pushed to the ground and dirt is kicked in his/her face once again. It comes with the territory when you support the Auburn Tigers.

Did you know that coaches are supposed to run and hide when cross-state challenges loom on the horizon? (* Release the Halloween metaphors! *) Like a vampire from the cock’s crow. The werewolf from the silver-packed pistol. Dr. Frankenstein’s monster from the peasant’s torch.

In the wide, wild world of Paul Finebaum this is what a sensible coach does, apparently. (See today’s fetid column here.)

The gist: Duck and cover, Coach Tuberville, or tuck and run. The Dark Lord Saban is coaching a winning team at the Capstone. Did you know that this past weekend a Tennessee team with one of the worst defenses in the conference was beat by Bama? Anoint the Dark Lord Saban with Volunteer blood!

If you have the time to humor us Auburn fans, Mr. Finebaum, please tell us all something: Why would Coach Tuberville run from the rising threat of an improved University of Alabama program, take the head coaching job at Texas A&M, and then have to face an almost always superior University of Texas team each year? Isn’t this trading one Boogey Man for another?

Does Auburn’s five wins in a row against Bama mean anything? One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Auburn owns Alabama. Auburn owns Bryant-Denny Stadium. I’m pretty sure there’s a memorial plaque and a bouquet of crimson and white flowers on the field where Brodie Croyle and his daddy’s dreams for his son died.

As The Auburner points out on a great T-shirt, there are children in the great state of Alabama that know how to tie their shoes, can read the adventures of Curious George, make a peanut butter sandwich — but yet don’t how to deal with a loss to the University of Alabama because they’ve never encountered such a brain-twisting concept.

So, with all due respect Mr. Finebaum, can we actually wait and see what happens at the Iron Bowl before reaching the conclusion that Tuberville fears Saban?

How many more weeks do we have to endure this fear-mongering? Five more weeks until the Iron Bowl?

LSU, can you do a big favor for us Auburn fans? We know that we must avert our eyes from your gloriousness, as you are our Bengal Overlord. But can you whip the absolute dog mess out of Bama for us? Do you need a visual aid? Let me see here. Is there any video images of a tiger eating a peacock on YouTube? Nope. Maybe you can pretend this chicken on its perch is a peacock. I would like to imagine that such will be Mother Nature’s equivalent to the feeding time at Bryant-Denny Stadium in two weeks.

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