Tag Archives: Tuberville

Peachy!

Auburn will play #15 Clemson (8-4) in the Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl in Atlanta on New Year’s Eve.

During the teleconference announcing our acceptance of the invitation, Tuberville and Jacobs appear *gasp* amicable and *double gasp* relaxingly secure in Tommy’s future at Auburn. And yet such is the force of this feminine brouhaha over absolutely nothing of the past few days that Waldorf-Astoria-casing Phillip Marshall still feels compelled to qualify the news somewhat forebodingly.

Speaking of “foreboding,” Alabama appears headed to Shreveport for the second year in a row to face Colorado in the PetroSun Independence Bowl (check out the great website!). Here’s to a losing season (2nd in a row, I believe) in your first year, Nick!

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Filed under General

Hunting Trip!!! Stop the Press!!!

By J. Henderson

I wake up to a meltdown. The links are too numerous to list. Tommy Tuberville, says everyone but the people who would know (incoming Arkansas Athletic Director, the man in charge of the Razorbacks coaching search, called it ‘fantasy‘), is the new coach of the Arkansas Razorbacks.

Jay at Track’em Tigers says we have to take this stuff seriously because the mainstream media is on it. He didn’t feel the same way when CBS Sportsline analyst Spencer Tillman laughably reported on Tuberville’s immanent move to Texas A&M. The mainstream media was all over the Tuberville-to-A&M soap opera. So why start listening now, especially when the denials folks were clamoring for Tuberville to make a few weeks back now exist? Because people will hear what they hear, and addressing rumors is a damned if you do, damned if you don’t ordeal, and all the more so thanks to Nick “I’m Not Going to be the Alabama Coach” Saban.

Don’t say anything = why so vague, coach? Say something, coach!

Deny you’re looking for anything else = why are you lying, coach! Just say you want to stay at Auburn, coach! Wait, you do?! Ha! Why are you lying, coach?

As newspapers adapt to our modern ebb and flow, the lines are blurring between ‘mainstream’ and ‘non-mainstream’ news, especially when sourcing is involved. Mainstream papers and news stations regularly report on what ‘internet sources’ are reporting, which in turn gives the cited internet sources something else to cite, ad infinitum…

All it takes is one ‘legitimate’ online news outlet, even if just a well-read blogger, to say something like ‘rumors are swirling today on the internet’ and suddenly a report simply referencing the activity of internet message boards becomes a quotable source of information for a story waiting to be constructed merely out of circumstance… for bloggers, for newspapers (who’s reporters are now bloggers), for freakin’ CBS.

(Team A is out of Coach. Coach B once bought his son a Team A shirt. Internet sources are claiming… therefore, Coach B is packing his bags for Team A. Just listen to the sports anchor on the video Jay posted on his site: “This is also being reported by Clay Henry at HogsIllustrated.com” — HogsIllustrated.com is an “unofficial UA fan site.”)

I don’t mean to pick on Jay, because all my favorites are going Chicken Little… no offense fellows, but I just don’t see it, not at all, and it won’t happen.

InterThreat

The real nightmarish potential of the internet is not the facility with which non-stories can be reported, but for its ability to literally create stories where none before existed.

I called a girl one night in high school. I wanted to talk to her. I liked her, but was nervous. She was at a party with some other girls. As I stammered around, she said ‘oh, I know why you’re calling, you want to talk to Abby!’

I didn’t want to talk to Abby. But I knew Abby. Abby was cute. Maybe I should talk to Abby. Maybe I liked Abby. A week later, Abby and I were on a date.

It won’t happen, but that’s the thing I’m scared about: Tubby thinking maybe he should like an Abby. An Abby thinking maybe she should go out with Tubby. After all, he’s on a hunting trip…

slaythemhogstub.jpg

Revised Ark. trip photo – submitted by Ike

It won’t happen. War Eagle.

*** Update, 10:45 am

*** Update 12:45 pm

*** Update 2:56 pm – Barbershop talk is that there is an Auburn press-conference scheduled for this afternoon. There is no press conference scheduled for this afternoon.

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Filed under Diversions / Investigations, General

The Sabanic Versus

By J.M. Comer

This kind of column writes itself. Words are typed at a feverish pace. The brain is hot and throbbing. The cage that holds back the terrifying claws of that inferiority complex has been rattled. The red-headed stepchild gets pushed to the ground and dirt is kicked in his/her face once again. It comes with the territory when you support the Auburn Tigers.

Did you know that coaches are supposed to run and hide when cross-state challenges loom on the horizon? (* Release the Halloween metaphors! *) Like a vampire from the cock’s crow. The werewolf from the silver-packed pistol. Dr. Frankenstein’s monster from the peasant’s torch.

In the wide, wild world of Paul Finebaum this is what a sensible coach does, apparently. (See today’s fetid column here.)

The gist: Duck and cover, Coach Tuberville, or tuck and run. The Dark Lord Saban is coaching a winning team at the Capstone. Did you know that this past weekend a Tennessee team with one of the worst defenses in the conference was beat by Bama? Anoint the Dark Lord Saban with Volunteer blood!

If you have the time to humor us Auburn fans, Mr. Finebaum, please tell us all something: Why would Coach Tuberville run from the rising threat of an improved University of Alabama program, take the head coaching job at Texas A&M, and then have to face an almost always superior University of Texas team each year? Isn’t this trading one Boogey Man for another?

Does Auburn’s five wins in a row against Bama mean anything? One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Auburn owns Alabama. Auburn owns Bryant-Denny Stadium. I’m pretty sure there’s a memorial plaque and a bouquet of crimson and white flowers on the field where Brodie Croyle and his daddy’s dreams for his son died.

As The Auburner points out on a great T-shirt, there are children in the great state of Alabama that know how to tie their shoes, can read the adventures of Curious George, make a peanut butter sandwich — but yet don’t how to deal with a loss to the University of Alabama because they’ve never encountered such a brain-twisting concept.

So, with all due respect Mr. Finebaum, can we actually wait and see what happens at the Iron Bowl before reaching the conclusion that Tuberville fears Saban?

How many more weeks do we have to endure this fear-mongering? Five more weeks until the Iron Bowl?

LSU, can you do a big favor for us Auburn fans? We know that we must avert our eyes from your gloriousness, as you are our Bengal Overlord. But can you whip the absolute dog mess out of Bama for us? Do you need a visual aid? Let me see here. Is there any video images of a tiger eating a peacock on YouTube? Nope. Maybe you can pretend this chicken on its perch is a peacock. I would like to imagine that such will be Mother Nature’s equivalent to the feeding time at Bryant-Denny Stadium in two weeks.

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Filed under Iron Bowl 365

McSomethin’…. McRibs!

By J. Henderson

My daughter woke up screaming just before Arkansas scored their touchdown. My wife ran back there, my mom too, she was in town with my brother. But she wanted Daddy. It wasn’t the best of timing, of course, but at the same time, as the nitty turned to gritty on TV, I calmly sat back into the couch cushions and held and “War Eagle’d” my little girl with confidence. My Dad called from the game, he was their with my grandfather, nosebleed. I heard the “Soooies” and all that and I smiled inside at the thought of the Hogs soon-breaking hearts ’cause those Hogs were playing dirty. (I especially love Freddie Fairchild’s ironic insta-karma: after slinging Kodi “they’re booing him because he’s from Arkansas” Burns to the turf a mile out of bounds, Fairchild gloats himself into a Arkansas-bred brick wall named Lee Ziemba and falls down himself.)

billings-gets-punched.JPGAnd for that, I knew they’d lose. I also knew that they would lose because they were playing against the Auburn Tigers.

Sure, we were technically losing at that point, and sure, we should have beaten them by three touchdowns and sure, I’m… intrigued… by Tuberville’s post-game comments about his executive decision regarding strategy (… intrigued because it works. I was driving my brother up to Toomer’s and turned the radio up just in time to hear Coach Tuberville say something to the effect of “Yeah, if we’d opened it up a little more, we probably would have won by 14…” I got out of the car, shut the door, looked toward the whitening Corner, back to the radio inside the dark car, then back to the Corner and said, “he just said that didn’t he, how about that…”)

But I still knew we were going to win from the get-go – even cellularly doused with the rabid slobber of Fayetteville’s finest, I knew we were fine. You could feel it in the time of possession, read it in Ben Tate’s body language. tate-stiff-arm.JPGAnd Foot Lauderdale would swig his coffee, kiss his wife and head out the door to Heroes Inc. yet again, like clockwork. Missed two already? I wasn’t worried. Not with that kid. Still, when Dad asked if I wanted to stay on with him through the kick, I said, nah, enough of that, I’ll call you at Toomer’s. And there he goes, kick is up, it’s good, put the baby back down. Night baby, War Eagle.

Byrum again, Cox again, Tuberville again, Borges again, Muschamp for Heisman. War Eagle. I’m so proud of these guys, this team.

We are going to pick LSU apart…. stay tuned.

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Filed under Post-Game