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War Eagle.

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In Three Days…

That’s right – John Denver and a golden freaking eagle. War Eagle.

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Fear the Extension

By J. Henderson

“Everything is going to be fine,

everything has been fine.”

Straight from the mouth. Everything has been fine.

gossip.jpegI have said and felt from the beginning that, regarding Tuberville’s future at Auburn, there has been no truth to the rumors of his departure, nor to the notion that Tuberville decided to go Riverboat (who else could’ve created a media-frenzy over a contract extension? Have we looked in the mirror? Y’all have been wanting a Tuberville scandal more than the refs wanted SJPW to score in the Iron Bowl. On to the next (nice, Auburner): Tuberville to Miami! [Again!]) upon finding himself their subject; he has not been holding out, he has not been playing both sides, nor puppet-mastering, nor sleeping with the enemy. He has been living his life and getting flack for it (Coaches that beat Bama six years in a row don’t get to Christmas shop!).

You can just tell from the way he “War Eagle’s” you at Wal-Mart… or even the new Kroger… that Tommy Tuberville does not sit on the internet all day. And you can tell in his press-conference demeanor that he does not inhabit the Finebaum universe of insinuation and misinformation (I mean my Lord, look at this from nearly a month ago — “brazenly shops your name around”? As folks are finally beginning to accept in light of the clearing dust, there hasn’t been a single real link connecting Tuberville / Jimmy Sexton to anybody… they’ve denied it from the beginning, not that the means anything to people, as you can see in this story from a “legitimate news outlet” that cites Sexton’s denial of any Tuberville talks with Arkansas before turning around to repeat the rumor as fact: “Talks are ongoing.”).

Tommy Tuberville is the grandfather who doesn’t know what a blog is, the Dad who talks to the media on his cell-phone while at the mall (telling them things, oh, like that he’s never been contacted by Texas A&M) while his son is buying a game for something called a Playstation.

Tuberville is the football coach who has repeatedly accomplished what no other Auburn coach has accomplished. Tuberville is the man with the 9 trillion square foot new Auburn house (it is beautiful) who loves Auburn, who’s aging Mom is reportedly in love with the place, and Tommy Tuberville is the man who cried at the thought of leaving (or from the joy of staying).

And yet, despite the ease at which everyone actually involved seems to be with each other and the “situation”, there are calls for healing. Healing…

Meanwhile in reality, the ink is drying on Tuberville’s newly extended contract… oh, and he’s up for The Coach of The Year Award (which you can vote on here), which “honors the college football coaches who best exemplify responsibility and excellence on and off the field of play,” and has likely just secured the deadly Will “War Eagle, Mofo!” Muschamp for another year.

“We are excited about it. It’s one of those things where we worked it slow. I know people have been anxious. I haven’t been looking at any other jobs and don’t want another job.

I love Auburn.

We want to be at Auburn a long time, as long as we can be there. Good things happen slow, and we are excited about it.”

“Whew! Well, why didn’t he just say so?!”

He did. You wrote about it.

Fear the Extension.

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Filed under Diversions / Investigations, General

Sabamalamadingdong

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Rod Smith and Ben Tate give a mixed-media / sign language prediction of how many more Auburn will consecutively hang on Bama = 6,115

By J. Henderson

I feel certain I speak for both J.M. and myself when I say that it has been and will likely continue to be a busy week, filled with post-postponing distractions, not least of which being lingering Victory Ecstasy Paralysis (which seems to going around). So, as for everything you would expect from The War Eagle Reader in the luxurious wake of Six Saturday, do bear with us.

But a quick something in the meantime.

Since the Saban snafu from the week prior has been ratcheted up to the point of appropriation for political commentary … I feel pressed to point out the aspect that I feel to be the most disturbing, the one passed by in the punditry parade.

Similar to my feelings that, in the “coon ass” scandal of early Saban Mania (which resulted in the first of two comment-clarifying press statements the Bama PR machine deemed necessary to cover for their coach in less than a year), LSU fans were likely much more offended by Saban’s gloating in their sense of betrayal (yeah, they “might not be able print that”) than in his use of regionally accepted slang, I can’t but think that the focus should never have been on the perhaps poorly decided points of analogical reference (of an analogy the context of which, though I’ve enjoyed the fallout, has been rather disabused of its intent) but rather his, at best – valley girl, at worst – inaccurate, articulation of American history.

“Pearl Harbor got us ready, you know, for World War II, or whatever.”

I believe Pearl Harbor got us into World War II, not really ready for it, or whatever. Maybe that’s a little petty, still I say nail him not for his attempted analogy [Saban hopes that: La-Monroe will be to Alabama football what Pearl Harbor / 9-11 were to America = a catalyst for unity and gung-ho attitude… of course, it won’t] but rather for that freakin’ “or whatever.”

(On a similar note, petty, sure… I believe that I may have stumbled upon some related, possible Nick Sucking, for note in this AP piece posted by The Sporting News (also linked above) the clean-cut omission of the hanging “or whatever.”)

As for the Iron Bowl, more on all that later but I will say this:

It was what it was. It was six in a row. It was spectacular.

Let’s War Eagle Forever.

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Filed under Diversions / Investigations, General, Iron Bowl 365

Bring them on, Bring them on…

Two days away from an extra notch, an extra arrow in the heart of the crimson monster. Investigations into the implications of our eventual reascension of the win column will likely mark much of TWER’s December downtime.

Stay tuned.

In the meantime – and soak this in, brothers – please to enjoy the lyrics to the song “War Eagle” by the band Early Man, from the (for our purposes) appropriately titled album Closing In.

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i am an eagle made of steel
a spawn of evil* i am real
i cannot think i cannot feel
i an an eagle made of steel
silver bullets cannot pierce my skin
i am not afraid of mortal men
bring them on bring them on
i am cruising at the speed of light
i’m hunting for your soul tonight
you’re in the crosshairs of my eyes
turning mankind’s masses into clay
crushing all opponents in my way

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i’m soaring high above the land
programmed to kill you on command
my eyes shoot laser beams at will
they’re dialed in and set to kill
there is no truce here is the deal
i am an eagle made of steel
man-made weapons will not slow me down
because my wings will never touch the ground

*”evil,” to Bama, is good.

War Damn Eagle.

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Filed under General, Iron Bowl 365, Pre-game Notes

Desire

By J.M. Comer

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Gen. George S. Patton inspects units of the 301st Combat Team at Strakonice, Czechosolvakia, 1945.

“We’re not just going to shoot the bastards. We’re going to cut out their living guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks.”

It’s the morning before kickoff. You need something to listen to as you fasten your Auburn war gear. And make no mistake: This is war. No turning back. Storm the swamp and gut those Gators. We’ll take it to them in the trenches. We’ll take it to them in the air. We’ll beat back those Gator hordes and it will be glorious. Auburn will win it 27-24. Lil’ Timmy Tebow will get a lesson in pain and loss. Again.

May I offer this song for your pre-game ritual Auburn fans? “Desire” by Pharoahe Monch. It gets me pumped! Amped! The only problem is the name dropping of Joe Namath. I try to overlook it. These words sum it up: “You will feel me. You will admire. Struggle, hustle, soul, desire.” War Damn Eagle!

Gator fans, I haven’t forgotten about you. Please feel free to listen and watch my pre-game selection for your team. As the national champions you are still standing after all this time. Florida, you are looking like a true survivor to me. Your preening, primping, prancing football team will surely take inspiration in this song.

Gutting the Gators: What can Auburn learn from Ole Miss?

Did Ole Miss expose a few chinks in the ol’ gator hide last week?

Florida is committing an average of 10.5 penalties per game. During the Ole Miss game they were penalized 14 times for 127 yards.

Ole Miss’ defense is one of the worst in the SEC, yet they held Florida to 30 points. Wha’ppen?

The Rebels consistently dropped eight and nine players into the secondary, which limited Florida’s passing game. The tactic forced QB
Tim Tebow to tuck the ball and run. Coach Urban Meyer this week says he would like to limit using Tebow’s rushing attack. Will they look for others to carry the load? Will Tebow’s handlers risk injury before the LSU game by running their quarterback against Auburn’s defense?

The Rebel defense held Tebow’s completion percentage to 58.8 percent. The lowest of the season for him. He was 20-of-34 in passing attempts.

The Auburn Fraidy Cat sez

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Last Auburn win in the Swamp? 1994. Thirteen years ago. Hmmmmm. Clinton’s first term as president. Ace of Base’s “The Sign” was the top song that year.

Last back-to-back wins against Florida? 1993 (Home 38-35) and 1994 (Swamp 36-33). Before that? 1987 (Home 29-6) 1988 (Swamp 16-0) and 1989 (Home 10-7). So it’s been done. That makes the Fraidy Cat feel a little better.

Urban Meyer is undefeated at The Swamp. Crap!

QB Tim Tebow is averaging 89 rushing yards a game. Double crap!

Florida’s offensive line has allowed two sacks all season. Three of four games have been sack-free affairs. Uh oh!

Auburn is going to have to throw against Florida to win. Yikes! The secondary is a weakness for the Gators so far, but the defensive front of Florida? Not so much.

This not-so-fun fact from from Sarasota, Fla.’s Herald Tribune:

Teams have been playing from behind against Florida and are forced to pass to keep up. And the Gators are stingy against the run. They are ranked No. 4 nationally, giving up an average of 54.5 yards per game and 2.1 yards per rushing attempt.

Man-eater Mouth Off (Quote of the Week)

This awesome quote comes from The Decatur Daily:

glimpse-of-club.jpg“[Tim Tebow’s] not going to run through me,” said [defensive tackle] Pat Sims, who has been wearing a hard black club-like cast on his left hand to protect broken fingers during games.

“When he gets a feel of this club,” Sims said, “he isn’t going to want more problems.”

(Glimpse The Club…)

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